wishful thinking

there's sum weird feelings haunted me these days..
sum hopes, sum dreams.. sum impossibilities
sum awkwardness..
hopefully they wont float into the surface.
gonna keep it for myself for now.
no one's gonna know.
will it be? someday? be possible?
because..
it seems so promising.. so..ah.. dunno.. expectable..maybe.. so expectable.
or maybe.. it's just me? having the oh-so-great expectation?

listen to the waves
everything communicates
will it ever be
anything more..
than wishful thinking?

i ask myself over n over?
will it ever be anything more than wishful thinking?
ko jadi kyk yg depresi gitu yah?
ni bkn depresi, tapi berpikir.. berharap, andaikan.. bla..bla..
nothing is impossible, aite?
all i have to do now is.. wait..? or do a lil thing to show it..?
i need to know. u need to know. they need to know.

oh..no.. there u go
looked away
u missed the show
how much wasted time
will u survive?

tricky... tricky.. felt that? realized that? knew that?
was it that cold?
cos whether it was a "play dumb" thing or "dun hav any clue at all",
i still can't draw a conclusion from that.
ah.. wat a feckish state that i'm in.
entah lah.. akankah bertahan dgn semua kekonyolan ini?
aku? kamu? mereka?
seharusnya "ya".. tapi sampai kapan?
is dis the real me?. the real u?. the real them?.


oh yea.. fooled again
dunno why and i dunno when
not much else to blame
but wishful thinking

so..




i played more on the surface.
i see. it's gettin on the line.
hooked. like a fish. but still. cold. cold. hard as a stone.
hav a heart? or is it gone already? or is it someone else's?
bisakah merasakan a bit tingling feeling in ur stomach?
atau.. rapid heart beats?
does the heart beat? or is it already rotten long time ago?
but i wont gave up.
on me. on u. on them. on everyone.
because i need to feel alive
to feel me. to feel u. to feel them.
wanna blame my wishful thinking. but i can't.
beacuse i can only live from that.