You built my hopes so high,Baby
then you let me down so low
You built my hopes so high then ya let me down... so low
Don'tcha realize sweet baby?
man.. I don't know... which way to go
man.. I can't quit you babe

I think I'm gonna put you down for a while

Wanna tell you about the boy I love
My..he looks so fine. he's the only one that I been dreamin' of.
Maybe someday he will be all mine. I wanna tell him that I love him so
I thrill with his every touch
I need to tell him he's the only one I really love

I got a man, wanna ball all day
I got a man, he won't be true,
no.. I got a man, stay drunk all the time
I said I got a little man and he won't be true

Everybody's with the one they love I walk the town, Keep a-searchin' all around Lookin' for my street corner boy

I got a man, wanna ball all day
I got a man, he won't be true,
no.. no..
I got a man, stay drunk all the time
I said I got a little man and he won't be true

In the bars, with the women who play guitars
Singin', drinkin' and rememberin' the times
My little lover does a midnight shift. he followed around all the time
I guess there's just one thing a-left for me to do.. Gonna pack my bags and move on my way
Cause I got a worried mind
Sharin' what I thought was mine
Gonna leave him where the guitars play

I got a man, he won't be true,
no.. no..
I got a man, wanna ball all day
I got a man, stay drunk all the time
I got a little man and he won't be true

(Hey hey what can I do)

Hey fellas, have you heard the news? You know that rock boy is back in town? It won't take long just watch and see how the girls lay their money down. His style is new but the face is the same as it was so long ago, But from his eyes, a different smile like that of one who knows.
Well, it's been ten years and maybe more since I first set eyes on you. The best years of my life gone by, here I am alone and blue. Some people cry and some people die by the wicked ways of love; But I'll just keep on rollin' along with the grace of the Lord above.
People talkin' all around 'bout the way you left me flat, I don't care what the people say, I know where their jive is at. One thing I do have on my mind, if you can clarify please do, It's the way you call me by another girl's name when I try to make love to you. I try to make love but it ain't no use.
Work so hard I couldn't unwind, get some money saved.

Abuse my love a thousand times, however hard I tried.

Heartbreaker, your time has come, can't take your evil way

Go away, Heartbreaker.

Im tired, tired of these things. Tired of what I feel rite now. I thought this is when I should stop, but I cant stop, I dun want to stop. Even tho it’s killing me. Ah.. damn. Dunno what to do. Someone, please.. slap me in my face. Wake me up. Dun let me trapped in this goatdamn annoying beautiful harmful dream. The funny thing is im not heartless anymore, im so ffckin brainless now! Yea, im bein idiotic! A dumb brainless whore. Im a whore for real now. Bcos, I ffcked sumone when there is sumone else out there who’s waiting for me. Who’s longing for me. Who’s devoted to me. Who’s thinking of me. Who’s missing me. Who’s trusting me. Who’s willing to be with me. Yes, there’s sumone out there who’s deadly in luv with me. And what I gave to him in return???? I ffcked sumone else!!!! More than once. That sumone out there had 80% of my fake heart. And still, me, bein sucha whore with only 20% of fake heart, ffcking here and there, kissing here and there, declaring here and there that im a happy single fighter. Ooohhh… my 80%, please forgive me. I luv u, but u r way too far away! And im fakely in luv wit u. I dun luv u for real. The fact is, I just dun want u stop luving me. So I pretend that im in soooo in luv wit u. hmmmf… I know it’s evil. But, honey, im a whore.

And what can u xpect from a whore than a broken heart and pain?

DaMn…!!!!

HeLp mE

pLeAsE……….

HeLp mE

hhahhahha....

fair enuffffff...............

he'll be gone soon,
so.......
im still gonna try wit my 80%
still gonna try to luv my 80%

damn.........
confused.... confused... so fffin confused.

hmmmpff..... too many guys but there's only one ME. hhahahahahahaa...
oh...boys, please dun make me choose.

tae bgt ah gw.. mulai brantakan ni dunia perjalangan. duh duh gawat... ya ya ya.. rock boy, please come in and ffck me! hahahahaha
he is the 2nd rare lips. duh duh... with rare kisses...makin duh duh duh,,,... and u know wat?? he got the style.. u know, style that makes me go "uh" and "hmmm" along with thousands of dirty thoughts.. hahahaha......
but surely this is dangerous.
cos im tryin to fall in LUV here, hello??????!!! and he came!!!! damn.... and... and... and...um.... i want him too... ahahahaahaha....and im charmed....and...im ffcked!!! hahahahaha
duh duh duh......... i like 80% alotssssss.... but i like rock boy too, alotsssss!!! gmana dunk???? blm lgi si blue-eyed, duh duh duh...ampuuuuuuuuuun........tpi mslh si blue-eyed sih emg ga trlalu penting, emg gw jga ga trlalu doyan2 bgt ma dia.gw bingung....bego bego bego.....everything is so ffcked up now, and will be more ffcked up later.. hahahaha.....susah yah klo emang j.a.l.a.n.k ampe kpn pun tetep jdi j.a.l.a.n.k walopun gw brusaha tobatttt.... tapi, damnnnn...........tak tahan godaan!! nope nope! bkn tak tahan godaan, tpi yah itu terjadi aja, tanpa diinginkan tanpa disadari tanpa diharapkan. emang udah jalan idup gw gini kali yah?
wadawwwww...... gawatttttttttttttt...... idiiihhh..... dramatis bgt yah gw... dramatis tae..!
udah ah...........................

got a nu job!!!!!!!!!!!

interview and written test on tuesday morning.
and on the afternoon [it was like 4pm] got a call saying that i'm in!!!!!!!
hahahah.... how cool was that??????
truuuuuuusss...... hari rabunya lsg masuk!!
hahaha.......... hebaaaaaaaaaattttttttttttttt
anjrit gw hebat.

dan yg lbih hebatnya lgi lama 2 bln or 3 bln ini, gw cma masuk 12 hari di setiap bulan.
haghaghag,,,.... tpi gajinya tu bagusss... yah lumayan lahhhhh buat makan nasi padang :)

tau ah...

too damn tired to write much

c u later

it's been too long since i stucked in this delirium.

yesterday i was in luv, today not in luv, later? dunno..

Maybe it's bcos im heartless, i cant even know my real feelings towards sumone.

jadi..hmm...kmaren2 i thought that ada keanehan dlm hidup gw. Yah, yg berhubungan ma this heartless thing, dan ternyata keanehan yg enjoyable itu semu. duh,.. karena keanehan yg sbenernya bru aja dimulai malam tadi. havent sleep from nite until now, thinking about last nite. ah.. a fckin torchering wonderful nite [halah..].. damn, it's kiling me!!

hmmph...capek rasanya klo hrus terus2an nge-stuck dlm absurditas ini.tapi ga mau brenti juga. duh..gmana sih? gmana dunk? gmana yah? hahahaha... goblok.hiahahaha,... dbawa santaiiiiiiiiiiiiii.... pastinya siiiih... tpi teteppppp...!! ada aja bagian paniknya, bagian tegangnya, bagian dodolnya. tau ah...i am scaredddddddd... scared of this, scared of him. scared of what i felt. scared of what im feeling. scared of what i will feel. la .. la .. la .. am i less heartless now? i might be..yea..that is interesting..hohoho.... bcos i know it's only a matter of time til u walk out. hmmm...

damn..!! why do u have to be so mean ???!!

damn..!! why do u have to be so devilish ???!!

damn..!!

why do u have to be so lovable, darling...??

wat's wit today ya?
so many nu people come...

seneng sih seneng....
hahaha..

yaaaaaaaaah......... making my life more colorful lah!!

thank GOD......

no one walks out of my life, but instead i got lotss of nu people coming in.....

niii....some of the photos....

me and my luvly autisic pal.. hahaha.... cowok yg paling cantik dan bodoh dan autis yg pernah ku temui!!!! hahahaha [pisss yoooo!!!]

me and my sister-in-law... and also my good friend!! [luv u, mitchie]

aku dan febry yg super besaaaaaar...!!!!!

hahahahahaha

dari kiri ke kanan :

Febry, ayub, uban dan aku..!!!!

just got home dari rmh spupu jauh [jauh bgt kyknya], krn dia mau nikah.
jdi klo di adat bugis, malam sbelum akad nikah tuh ada ritual adat gtu namanya mappacing.
jdi kyk khataman Quran gtu, trus ada ritual2 aneh dgn henna dan beras dan entah apa lagi. yaaa... pokoknya gtu deh.. ribet2..tpi yg penting sih byk makanan!!!!!
hohohoho.. teteppp...makanan no.1..!!!

krn madam and papa ndak dateng, jadi gw yg hrs ngewakilin mereka. Trusss..gw tau bgt ga akan byk yg gw knal dsana [gw agak isolate ma kumpulan sodara jauh itu], ya udh lah drpd ntar bengong sana bengong sini, gw ajak aja si uban... rekan autisqu tersayang :)
jadilah berangkat brg mitchi [my sis-in-law], ka acil, uban, om thalib [papanya ayub] and si pelengkap keceriaan my luvly cousin ayub. haghag... niat2 bgt pgn bikin heboh. sok2an bgt yg sok eksis pdhl dikenal jga engga [ayub and uban, not me!! halah..teteppp!].

trus trus trus... stelan udh sok famous bgt deh. gw pake kbaya + jins [krn kaen batiknya udh ga muat!!] trus si uban pake batik lengan panjang eh... ga sinkron dah si ayub malah pake kaos NOFX [yg gw taksir bgt!] plus clana jins coklat..ah...rockers dah! dodol emang tu cousin tersayang. ga matching ah ma dandanan gw dan uban..but it's okay, we're still good. we look alrite still. hahahaha..
dsana ktemu ma spupu deket...namanya febry...and u kow wat?? dia membesar skaliiiiiii......ku dibuat kaget oleh perubahan itu. dan dia jga kaget ngeliat gw yg katanya membesar skaliiii [juga]. huehehehehe....snangnya ada yg bilang gw gendut!!! hohoho...konyol ga sih?saat smua wanita takut gendut, gw malah yg tryin real hard to a fat whore!!! huehehehehehehehe...dont laugh!!! wat's ur ffckin problem eh?? [lho ko jdi nyolot??]

hm...sbenernya tujuan utama dateng adalah demi makanan yg melimpah dan dsana emang melimpah bgt makanan,,tumpah ruah dah pokoknya!!! ampe kekenyangan gw skarang! and tujuan utama kdua adalah mencari pemandangan yg indah skaligus nyari objek penjalangan yg baru. duh duh duh... tpi gw harus kecewa. krn... aaaargggh.... tak ada cowo2 yg mnawan dsana... lecek2 smuaaaaaa!!!! kayak udh dicuci berulang2 kali tpi ga pernah di setrika! nah..kbayang kan gmn leceknya?????? uuuuuh...... poor me :(

trus untungnya msh ada mood buat poto2.
dan kaget bgt gw.... ternyata muka gw gendut bgt kyk babi...!! huehehehehe...lucu dan aneh at the same time... tapiii... tetep ko.. gw oke!! hahahahaha

duh...tdi gw mo coba upload disini... tpi kyknya connectionnya lgi having a ffckin problem, jdi malah error... aaargggh... menyebalkan!!

gonna try to post them later, okay?

well..dunno wat to write anymore.
xcept... aaaaaah... miss my 80% so damn much. and why..? i cant love him? no matter how hard i tried, i just cant :(

i thought i luv him... but i guess that was just a mistake... hahahaha....