Friday, September 14, 2007

Ten Annoying Things to Do

Found it at Andy Griffiths' web..
Totally annoying


Twenty cents

Superglue one end of a long piece of cotton to a twenty cent coin. Then leave the coin in a prominent place on the footpath, for example right where everybody walks to get to the tuckshop. Take the other end of the cotton and go and hide around the corner or in a nearby bush. When somebody spies the coin on the path and bends down to pick it up, tug on the end of the cotton so that the coin jumps out of their reach.

Petrol powered leaf blower
Get a petrol powered leaf blower and a petrol powered leaf blower holster and hang it off your hip like a wild west gun-slinger. Then go swaggering down the street and challenge everybody you meet to a petrol powered leaf blower fight. If they say, 'But I haven't got a petrol powered leaf blower,' then say, 'Well that's just too bad. It's not my fault you can't keep up with progress!' and quickly whip out your petrol powered leaf blower and blow them away.

Iced Ink
Go up to somebody and tell them that you bet they can't say 'ICED INK' ten times fast. After they've tried say, 'Phew! You're telling me!' and run away.

I was born on a pirate ship
Go up to somebody and tell them that you bet they can't hold the end of their tongue between their thumb and forefinger and say, 'I was born on a pirate ship' ten times fast. After they've tried say, 'I thought so,' and run away.

Dead rat
Go up to somebody who's wearing a hat and hold your nose and say, 'POOH, you smell like a dead rat!' and when they shake their heads in disbelief and say, 'I beg your pardon--what did you say?' Say, 'I said I DO like your HAT!' And when they say, 'Well, that's alright then--I thought you said I smelt like a dead rat!' you say, 'Well now that you mention it...' and run about 100 metres away and yell, 'YOU DO!'

Radio
Go up to somebody and tell them the following joke: 'Two penguins are standing on an iceberg in the Antarctic. One turns to the other and says 'Radio.' When you say, 'radio,' fall about laughing as if it's the funniest joke you have ever heard in your whole life. Your victim will be standing there wanting to laugh but not quite able to work out the point of the joke. Help them along by elbowing them in the side a couple of times and saying 'GEDDIT?! GEDDIT?! RADIO!' If they start laughing let them laugh for a while and then say, 'The joke has no point but you're laughing anyway--I always thought you were pretty stupid and now I know for sure.' If they don't laugh and just keep saying, 'I don't get it, what's so funny?' say, 'I should have known better than to waste such a good joke on you--I always thought you were pretty stupid and now I know for sure.'

I'm a brass lock, you're a brass key
Tell a friend that you're a lock and they're a key and that every time you say what sort of lock you are, they have to repeat that they're the same sort of key--so it goes like this. You go, 'I'm a brass lock' and they go, 'I'm a brass key.' You go, 'I'm a silver lock,' they go, 'I'm a silver key.' You go, 'I'm a gold lock,' they go, ''m a gold key.' You go, 'I'm a mun lock,' they go (without thinking) 'I'm a mun key.' Then you dance around in delerious spasms of delight going, 'Whoooh hoo! You're a MONKEY! You said it pal, not me! A MONKEY--Well! that explains a lot!' Then say 'I think it's a good thing that the truth is out at last. You'll feel better when we find you a nice cage in the zoo.'

Stamp collector
Go up to somebody who you know is a stamp collector and say, 'I understand you collect stamps--would you like another for your collection?'
And when they say, 'Yes please,'
say, 'Okay, you asked for it' and stamp on their foot. Then run away.

Post office prank
Go to the post office and tell the person behind the counter that you need to send something somewhere really urgently but that you're not sure what you have to send or who it's for or where it's supposed to go. If the Postmaster says that they can't help you unless you can supply more information, just tap the side of your nose with your finger and say, 'Sorry--that's the classified information--secret agent stuff.' String the joke along for ten minutes or so and then yell 'I'm not really a secret agent and I don't really have anything to send!' Then put your crash helmet on and escape the scene in your brand-new helicopter shoes.

You look like a monkey
Go to somebody's birthday party and when it comes time to cut the cake and sing happy birthday, sing the first two lines of the song normally and then raise your voice and drown everybody else out with this clever substitution:
Happy Birthday to you
You live in the zoo
You look like a monkey
And you smell like one too!
Then after all the hip hip hoorays are over, grab a big handful of birthday cake and say, 'I'm sorry. Of course, you don't smell like a monkey--you smell ten times worse!' and run away.

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