weekends' drama #1

Pfiuh..
at last... i've successfully let him go..
who's him? ah.. no one..

i put all my dignity on the line, prepare for the worse (being not able to let him go), and met him.
only for one purpose, getting my life back into one full piece.

so on friday nite, we met..
still with dat same perfume, same sparkling eyes, same cute smile, same nice tone of voice and even same "his sit and think" pose, and it was totally the same him. The same him dat i could never have.

i spend the nite wit him, and walk him to the airport in the next morning.

--------@ the airport

he said : "so this is it then, i guess there'll be no more us from now, rite?"

i said : "it's never been us, honey. from the first until now."

i'm trembling and thinking, i thought dat i was the one who's expected too much. But hearing him saying "no more us", i felt somekind of regret. Was he considered an "us" for after all these times when we've been togetherly untogether? I've always wanted to have an "us" goin on between us. But it seems too impossible back then, until now, exactly. ah..

he said : "i've always thought dat it will be u. u know, it'll work out if only i tried more hard on dis."

i said : "i admit, there's a slight bit of hope there. But i've been thinking the same way as u did for all this time, and i kept thinking until i came to a conclusion that it'll never work."

he said : "dont be too sarcastic,baby. Negative thinking won't get u any farer, it'll just make u stay put on place dat u dun belong to."

i said : "no probs to me. I never knoe which ground to stand until now. "

he said : "it could've been u.. i mean.. wat's wrong? wat's wrong wit us?"

i said : " nothin, darling. nothin's wrong,. it's just too many "right" here witout a "wrong". So it wasn't real at all, us, never real."

he said : "i still gonna try to wait. Still gonna try."

i said : "u have to go. i'm gonna miss u a lot, honey."

he said : "yea, i guess i'll leave now. so tis is for good rite?"

i said : "nope, it's for the best. Take care.."

he said : "u too, luv.."

and we hugged... i thought it'll be hard to let him, cos the comfort seems irreplaceable by anyone. But i release the hug, and no longing feeling for more. Uff..it's not that hard.

so as neu people came into my life, some of them leaved.

now, i've let go two persons dat i've considered as my precious.
who once i thought dat my life wouldn't be the same again witout them, and it's true.
But in a very good way.

Thank God.. for helping me goin through all these.

and let me for being "me"