i know what was the issue

it's about last nite.

monday, dan... bener2 jd hari yg baik untuk ak.
g tw knp tiba2 malemnya kena turbulence lg.. um.. engga dashyat sii.
untungnya cpet aja gt nyadarnya klo ni mood udh mulai ga keruan.
self-awareness ku lg bgs malm itu.
so.. mulai bingung lah, gulang guling, muter muter, bolak balik.. ga jlas.

trus mulai static, ngerasa hampa trus emotionless lah pokoknya.
mau senyam-senyum males, mau marah ga kpengen, mau ngomong aja berat bgt rasanya.
it felt like i have to put all my breath on the line just to speak out a word. Aneh.. tp emg kyk gt rasanya.

jd mulai mikir, rasa seneng pas pagi dan siang itu bneran atau engga ya?
was it just euphoria?

udh tambah bingung, yah.. udah deh.. need sumone to be my trash bin.
so, aku sms lah si king of poo-poo itu.
disuruh nulis ktnya, trus ngingetin quote of the day, trus bla..bla..

tp ga ada komputer d rmh, and klo nulis manually, ga keburu aja ma loncatan pikiran ku yg amat sgt high speed (tp ga speed of light juga sih).

then, eh.. malah ngambil kertas and pulpen, and i started writing!!!
ah.. tubuh yg aneh.. trus.. y udh.. feel better walopun cm nulis kyk 5 kalimat or so.

cm blm relieved aja, jadiii... hayuuuuu... nyampah!! nyampah!! nyampah!!
telp king of poo-poo deh.. trus nyampah deh, trus dicela deh, trus diketawain deh, trus aku ikutan ketawa deh, trus feel better deh, trus the nite was officially save deh..

thanks, son.. hehe..

after the shytty-chat, sblm bobo jd mikir2 lg.. mikirin what's the issue that made me like this again.
then, daddy called.. we talked for a while and "miss u, pa. Cant u come home early? Cant u come tomorrow? or.. or.. cant u manage to fly me there?"
those words just keep on coming out from my mouth.
he said, he'll try to come home tomorrow (that means today).
and the dessert feels the rain.

i knew the issue... i just miss my daddy so much... miss him so much..

after that, i laid in bed, put my blanket on, hugged my pillow, and sleep so tight.