uh....damn...!!!
ternyata kesialan gw ga brenti ampe kasus anjing bdebah itu. kudu ditambah dengan red period... huhuhuhu.... sial... krn ko tumbenan perut gw agak krasa mlilit, pdhl klo mens, gw paling jarang [hampir ga pernah] sakit perut. ughhh.....menyebalkan....trus tadi start dari pagi ampe malam ini ni betis nyut2an banget...!!!! aduuuuuuugh............... help meeeeeee!!!! ffffuckkkk.... gw mulai desperate.
capek!!! ni m***k gw jga rasanya puegelllll bangedh.... mengeluarkan darah terus mnerus, tembus sana tembus sini, ngabis2in pembalut...... pemborosan besar2an...!! susah emang jadi cewek, kudu ada waktu tiap bulan untuk merelakan kenyamanan kewanitaan dgn membiarkan m***k gw disumpel kapas gepeng yg aneh dan mnarik tpi menyebalkan...dan penderitaan lainnya ada lagiiiii....u know wat?????!!!!!!! roko abiiissssh trus ga ada duit speser pun untuk beli roko walopun cuma sbatang. haghag!! ni idup lagi indah2nya, krn byk bgt hal2 konyol tpi menyebalkan yg terjadi. tapiiiii..... sbagai seorang jalang, gw mah sbenernya ga annoyed bgt ma sikon skrg. paling emosi mledak2 ga keruan, tpi cma dalam waktu singkat ko. hiahahahahay.... ni bru idup warna/i kelabu yg kusukaaaaa. karenaaaaaa......... perutku makin buncit [thanks to lemak2 and mens yg membantu gw membuncit] daaaaan....... berat gw udh 47 kilo... hiahahahaha.... walopun ga da perbedaan signifikan pada postur bodi gw, tpi seneng bangedh liat angka di timbangan. yea...47 kg. dan lucunyaaaaa..... yg gemuk tuh cma perut gw aja. hiahahahahaha..... jdi ngebet bgt pengen pergi k kolam renang trus berendem. pasti gw bakal mirip bgt ma kudanil, yg doyan berendem ampe merem melek dan tentunya dengan perut yg menyembul keluar permukaan air... hohohoho.... anggap aja pelampung natural. wuiiiiih..... djijay bgt emang klo dbayangin, tpi srius deh..... indah loh perut gw...!!!!!! la.. la.. la.. im a fffuckin happy unlucky whore!!! and still numero #1 jalank....... haghag!!

BANGSAAAAAAAAT.........!!!!!! JAHANAAAAM....!!!! BEDEBAH......!!!!!!!

uhhhhhh................. knapaaaaaaaaaaaa?????????? dgn sembuhnya kaki gw dari insiden nyusruk di tangga, kebahagiaan itu hanya bertahan beberapa jam sajaaaaaaaaaaaa....

because u know what???????

u know wat d fffffffuckkkkk was just happened...????!!!!!!!!!!

gw digigit anjing!!!!!! ngehe!!!!!!! sialan.......!!!!! emang ga brasa pada awalnya... karena gigitan keiko jauh lebih sakit dbanding gigitan anjing sialan itu... tapi ternyataaaaaaaaaaa..... bangsathh...!!!! ada lobang kecil bekas aring dgn garis berwarna pink kemerahan plussssssss another memar sialan yg ternyata jauuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuh lebih biru dbanding memar nyusruk dr tangga!!!!!!!!!!!!! oh ma fffffuck...... sial bgt gw!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

jdi gini....... critanya.....

tdi gw berkeliaran sebentar, memuaskan diri krn sempet beberapa hari yg hampir dua minggu menjadi isolate, immobile dan impoten. trus mampir ngobrol ma temen di rumahnya yg notabene mempunyai anjing yg lucu bgt. gendut, gede, berbulu putih tebel. hiahahaha lucu dahhh........ trus tu anjing diiket kan, and gw ngobrol ma tmen gw di deket tu anjing yg bernama olin [nama sbenernya pauline dpanggil olin, najish sok imut!!!!] eh... tiba-tibaaaaaaaaaaa.... tu anjing nyaplok betis kiri gw dan diatas dengkul kanan gw. gw mah nyengir aja saat itu sambil ngomong "kok olin gigit akuuuu...? sambil nyengir. krn ga brasa sakit sama skali, man...!!!!

trus gw ke warteg and pas slese makan lgi ngroko dlu, gw ngeliat betis kiri gw, and.....????!!!! lukaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....!!!!!!!! anjing siaaaaaaaaalaaaaaaaaaan.....!!!!!!!!!

dugh padahal ga brasa sakit pas digigit, eh tau2nya...... memar and luka..... duhhhh....sik assssikkkk bangedh dah idup gw...!!!!!!!!! bginilah nasib seorang jalang...... haghag!!!!!

dan sekarang, luka dan memar yg tadinya ga sakit sama skali, mulai brasa nyut-nyutan.... aaaarggggghhhhh.............

anjinggggg sialaaaaaaaaaaaan.....!!!!!!! jahannaaaaaaaaaaaaaaam....!!!!! uuugh.........................................................

im a fffffucccckin unlucky whore!!!!!!!!

ayo kawan kawan...!!!!! tertawalah di atas penderitaan ku...... mumpung ada kesempatan....!!!!!!!!

holaaaaaaaa......

akirnyaaaaaa.....

kakiku sdh kembali [agak] normal!!!

ga perlu di bebat lagi.

ga perlu tertatih2 kyk granny klo jln.

suenaaaaaaang...!!!

tpi... memar2 nya msh ada... biru ungu menguning gtu. jijay deh ngeliatnya.
nyeremin. kyk korban penganiayaan gw.

terlepas dari pnampakan memar2 yg menjijaykan, tpi lega rasanya krn mobilitas ku akan kembali seperti smula.
yupsss.... high mobility...!!!

stelah beberapa hari [atau sminggu??] menjadi immobile, stuck, impotent, akhirnya smua penderitaan itu hilang!!!!!

yippeeeeeeeee....!!!!!!!!!

IRMAYANTHI MUIS

Mengandung Arti:

- Perasaan pada keadilan

- Jalan penghidupan yang tentram, merdeka, bahagia dan sempurna

- Bersemangat, berpengetahuan dan keindahan

- Sifat pengasih dan penyayang

- Kesempurnaan dan kebaikan

- Kesentausaan dan suka ilmu pengetahuan

- Sebuah surat

- Bengis, ketus dan kedukaan

- Kesedihan dan kekurang-sempurnaan

weekend is always being such a pain in d ass.
dunno why, mungkin emg gw dikutuk ampe kpn pun ga akan bsa mnikmati weekend.
tpi, masa iya dikutuk? bcos from the start i'v always hated weekend. jadi mungkin ini bkn kutukan yah, tapi sbuah sugesti diri yg muncul krn paradgima gw sdiri thd weekend itu yg udh jelek. well, terlepas dri ketidaksukaan gw thd weekend, emg hal2 yg menyebalkan kmungkinan besar terjadi di weekend. lgpl, kalo ga salah hari pertama mnurut sejarah tu hari minggu bukan? trus kenapa hari pertama merupakan hari libur?? hari libur uh kan identik dgn kesenangan, atau bermalas2an atw watever lah. Trus hari kedua itu senin, dan kenapa sgala macam kesibukan dimulai di hari kedua? bkn di hari pertama? rada2 ga bs gw terima.

enuff of those crap.

wat is exactly happening is.... i felt like not alive. ha. so lame and boring and makes me sick and i wanna puke. shit!!

ihh.... pokoknya kyk tai bgt dah. ga ngerti apa yg gw rasain hari ini dan kemaren. um... smalem sih lumayan, ngumpul2 ma anak2, trus blajar maen gitar [damn! susahhh!] trus untungnya dgn kebangkrutan gw yg parrraaahhh, ada ochool yg nraktir makan nasi uduk pecel ayam, trus dbliin marlboro putih pulaa. makasih ochool darling. u r my savior dah!!!!! soalnya makanan dan roko mrupakan faktor signifikan yg bisa uplift mood gw. smoga kebaikan mu dibalas berkali2 lipat. amiiin....... [ni doa yg tulus loh!]
terlepas dari segala macam kesenangan [semu] yg gw alamin smalem. dunno why, i felt so down. need a wake up. huh... the only one who can do that adalah si sonjed. tapi... sonjed sibugh bgt. gw udh sms minta ditelpon balik, tpi dia lgi ribet rembukan ma nyokapnya [bout the marriage thing, i guess]. i understood. emg ribet bgt pastinya. but.... i waited. and until now, he hasnt call me! damn, njed!!! i need u like hell now. ffffuck. help me. wake me up with ur rude words and that annoying voice.....!!!!!! uh.... fuck u! no!!! fuck me!!!
damn im so screwd.
and it's gettin worst. cos i miss my 80%. knowing that there's no chances to meet up. so i guess i'll be trapped in this awkward feeling for a while. uh... spertinya gw mulai kluar dr jalur. i think i started to use my tiny bit of my heart on this case. heartlessly [maybe] in luv. aarrrgh... tae!!!! tpi bkn brarti gw berhenti menjalang [pffiuh! thank Goat] krn klo ampe gw brenti menjalang, oh..damn. brarti keadaan gw udh kronis bgt. gawaaat... jgn sampe deh. to be honest, saat gw menjalang, slalu terpikir sekilas "it'll be nice if im wit my 80%". tuhhh... udah mulai kacau kan?? tolong doooooooooong..
kyknya byk bgt masalah saat ini, dan gw ga tau masalah2 itu apa aja, slaen kasus si 80%. and again............... dunno wadda ffuck should i do. ngepethhhhh......

good afternoon.

yea...it's saturday.
when everyone is cheering, and me, au contraire, whinning... ah.. lame.

i've always hated weekends.

tapi... hari sabtu ini diawali dgn hal yg bagus ko.
my geloutis partner [oeban] called, offering a breakfast. hiahahahaha..... tentu saja gw ga akan nolak. sarapan gituuuu. makanan gituuuu. gratis gituuuu. hiahahahahahaha.

me : allow [dgn suara "bantal"]

oeban : pagi,bu. lg ngapain?

me : baru banguuun...hoahm... knp,yank?

oeban : udah gulang-guling kmu?

me : ini sambil...

oeban : aku di SD, bu. lgi sarapan. kmu mau ksini ndak??

me : uh..ak bru bgt bgn, msh mau gulang-guling.

oeban : oh gtu, mau dibungkusin aja, bu?

me : waa.. mauuuu.. [dgn smangat bgt tp lsg pura2 lemes lgi..hihihi]

oeban : ya udh,bu. ntar aku bawain ksana yah.

me : ssippp. makasih sayank... [uuh..ada maunya!!!]


trus..akhirnya ku bangun lah. cuci muka, bla..bla..minu aer putih dlu, trus liat kiba [my dog], agak sedih lagi krn keinget keiko [R.i.P], trus oeban dateng deh. kukira mau mampir dlu, ternyata cma nganterin sarapan [BURGER!!!!!] trus dia lsg pulang. wah... namanya rejeki. Trimakasih Tuhan, atas sarapan pagi ini. Burgernya ueeeeenaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaak.....!!! walaupun kurang bikin kenyang [wajar kan?] smestinya ditambah lagi mam indomie + telor 1/2 mateng + es teh susu. Wuiiiiiiiiiiih..... canggih berat tu kalo sarapan bgitu. [hoho..ga kurang rakus??!!]

dan sekarang dengan perut 1/2 kenyang, menyampah disini sambil dengerin lagunya 8 ball yg can't back again (in ambon manise). u should hear the song. agak2 gmn gtu. hehehehe. bkn lagu yg hingar-bingar ko. nice lah.

*******kmarin ngapain aja yah?*******

Pagi and siang, lame routines lah, as usual. trus sorean dikit kira2 jam 3an krumah spupuku si ayub. nganterin paket kiriman obat nya kak wawan [he's hep.C and TBC! paraah yak?] trus sekalian lah ngobrol2 dikit. jam 4an go back home. trus ngobrol2 ma mitchi, then ngajak kiba maen2 dan olahraga [kiba's having trouble with motoric coordination]. pas gtu kak acil pulang, ya udh ternyata dia lgi ada masalah trus ngobrol agak berat di kamarnya. Sebenernya dia udh mau crita and diskusi dri kemaren malem, tpi saat itu aku yg lagi sibuk telponan dari 1/2 12 ampe 1/2 3 pagii [panaaas tu kupiiing!] jadi dia ga jdi ngajak ngobrol deh [map y kakak, for being so selfish :-( map]. ya udah trus autis di depan komputer ampe2 i missed family's dinner time! uh.. keabisan makanan deh, trus lanjutin lgi autis pdhl perut keroncongan. kakak ku pergi latian pingpong, aku msh autis. then oeban nelp, mo maen ke rmh. ya udh ngobrol2 bentar d rumah, trus ku pergi ke rmh ardi. hiahahahahaha. menjalang dikiiiiiiiiiit [sumpah! cuma dikiiiiit! hohoho] trus perut makin keroncongan, eh kakak nel, dia udh di rmh. so i went back home. pada mau minum intisari [ka acil, ka ian, iwel] i'm out for it. yesh, sorry bro, count me out. nda ikut2an aku. back to autic time, nonton naruto [marathon 12 episode..ssippp!] ampe alcoholcity bubaran, aku msh sibuk nonton. trus dodol ku nelp. hehehe. seneng. trus lanjut lagi nonton ampe pagiiiiiiii. sbenernya ga mau bobo, tpi papa nyuru bobo dgn ngototnya. so, jadilah aku tidur jam 5an pagi. pffiuuh... cma sgitu aja. kinda lame yah? hihihihi

and here i am.
ready to start my saturday.

what's the plan for today, anyway?
hm... as usual, not making any plans.

he's a JERK..!! a stunning abuser..!! a DEVILISH man..!! i HATE him. he HATES me. he hates me for bein a BITCH. he hates me for bein so fckin HEARTLESS. he hates me so damn much til he wants to CUT MY THROAT. and i hate him too. i hate him like hell and i want to TAKE HIS HEART OUT and FED IT TO MY DOG..!! he RAPES me. he rapes EVERY INCH OF ME. and im bein a fckin CHEAP WHORE, and i took off my PRICE TAG. he got me for free.we hated each other til we CANT STOP THINKING bout each other. til we spent every nite awake just to find a fckin way TO KILL each other. he's so damn BRIMFUL of me as i fckin am too. oh..FUCK..!! that's the shit. yea.. we're so much in shit and we cant stand it until we got ourselves KILLED and TORN APART and SHED APART. ironic. this is just a SARCASTIC LOVE. nothin more.

heartlessly in love, a sarcastic love

crita tentang seorang wanita.

cantik...? ah... sepertinya tidak.

tinggi semampai...? ah... tidaak.

putih...? ah... cenderung gelap.

hohoho. makin kejaaam.
tapi ini menarik lho!

dia itu pendek [lebih pendek dari aku!]
bayangkan.. mulai sekarang.. bayangkan.
hitam [or coklat tua bgt!] dengan tekstur kulit yang bisa dibilang tidak lembab dan tidak halus dan tidak mulus.
dan betisnya... besaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaar skaliiiiiiiiiiii....!!!!
hiahahahahaha.

udah kbayang kan lucunya gmana???

well... itu belum cukup.

kalo diperhatiin, tampangnya tuh ternyata lumayan parrraah...
wajah bulet dengan bibir kecil yang monyong, trus idung pesek yang mencuat ke atas, plus mata sayu yang tidak bagus.

hohohoho.

satu lagi yang extreme.
rambutnyaaaaaaaaa....!!!!!
super mengembang, 1/2 kribo + 1/4 kriting + 1/4 berombak dan menyatu sehingga membentuk suatu "shape" yg mirip dengan jamur.

ngahahahahahahahahaa........

im not bein dramatic and hyperbolic.

tapiii.... wanita itu tetangga ku, dan....
it's such a nitemare to see her everyday.

i call her si jamur.
hiahahahaha...
trus berubah menjadi mushroom's hair.

tapiii...
itu kan cma rambutnya,dan stelah diperhatiin.
secara keseluruhan dia emang mirip jamur.

so... that's when the nu nickname came.
HAIRY MUSHROOM

wkwkwkwkwk...

jamur berambut.... aaaaaaaaargh...... geliiiiiiiiii...... hihihihihihihihi

bangke!

ga da angin ga da ujan, tiba2 nyusruk aja gw di tangga
dgn posisi yg aneh pula.


how come gw yg lagi turun tangga bisa tiba2 nyusruk dgn bertumpu pada tulang kering gw?
jatoh yg aneh.... bneran deh....

yah... as the result for that fckin accident:
kaki kanan kiri sakit.
yah, yg parah sih kaki kanan gtu, ankle kudu dibebat gr2 sakit klo dipake napak, trus tulang kering and dengkul memar membiru, paha juga rada bengkak.

ya, no big deal sih, no broken bone or apa lah. tapi teteeeeeeppppp..... sakiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit, sob!

hiahahahahahaha.........


jdi bingung klo gini, aktifitas penjalangan gw agak yg jadi tersendat malah hampir stuck.
krn immobilitas gw jga lgi tersendat.

i wonder, "posisi" apa yah yg tidak menyusahkan dgn keadaan gw yg skrg ini....???
soalnya, knowing for sure that i'll stay in this fckin immobile state for a while [a week or two, maybe..?!]
jadi masalah "posisi" itu hrs dicari solusi nya.

guys, help me dunk!!!!

ide dan saran nya gw tunggu yahhh.

and, fella..... klo mo ktawain gw, yah... sok atuh silahkan.....!!!!

tertawalah diatas penderitaan kuuuuuu....!!!!!!!!

a story goes, witout a time frame [always disoriented..!]

started like 3 days before 2nd of may.. [wat date was it? wat day?]
uhm.. my emotion kinda rushing, and it felt like it's gonna blow itself out..ah..ffck..am bein way too sensitive. rage..rage..rage..no seconds witout anger.and it was causeless anger..ffck..am screwed!!

umm..wait..i think i forgot sumthing.uh.. forget it.

lantas..spertinya..sbenernya smua keberantakan itu bermula dr sminggu yg lalu,kira2 tgl brapa ya? ah..ffck..males mikir.

so...as i continued bein a hell fckin mad chick, am dyin for a fckin gud ffck too..ha! but am not in 'too mood' for doin it. cos am so damn moodless!
it's funny, wit the 3 bfs i have now, none of them were available for a ffck.or in other case, the available one is the less interesting.
wat d ffck are they useful for...???!! nothing! ha...!

hihi..tapi toh.. stelah turbulensi-turbulensi yg memakan waktu dan tenaga yg tdk bsa dibilang tdk sdikit, i got my ffck.
but..still.. am dyingggg for a gud ffck!

then i met my #2. wit lots of flashing awful ideas 'wat to do wit him'.. uhm.. another whore[ish] thoughts. yea.. i hink i'll ffck'em. hiahia. i thought that it was gonna be a 'whore day', but... fffffffck!!!!
I GOT MY PERIOD
yesh, of course it was a gud thing knowing that am not pregnant [pfffiuh!!] after lots of useless paranoidoid and stupidoid time worried of bein havin living tiny mini creature inside my belly.
and of course it was a BAD...BAD.. thing too.. bcos there's no chances that i could taste d deliciousity of my #2.
aarggh... so fckin hectic.. co my carnal lust bein' suspended to become real for like 5 days...???!!
and anyway, how does it feel to see a delicious cake in front of you but you cant eat it..???!! fcked up, rite..??????
tpi tetep lah, darl.. positive thinking. if you cant eat it whole, icip-icip msh bsa khaaaaan....??? hohohohoho...
dan ku ingin mlumatnyaaaaaaa......!!!! hihihi...
uh..tpi msh ada hari esok... lusa... minggu depan... ya ga...??? waiting... for #2's next visit..
sabaaaaaaar........ sabaaaaaaaaaaar.....

dan kini darah itu mengalir...

nikmat...

sperti kerongkongan kering dan dahaga yg tersiram air dingin...

lega...

kurasakan aliran darah itu..

mnuju sbuah kapas tambalan yg siap menampung semua.

dan kini darah itu mengalir...

and i cant have my ffck

and i feel so fcked

cos i need a ffck like ffck

and ffffffck......

it's still flowin' ... on..and..on...

tha..tha

waaaaaaaa........

after uncountable [no,im not bein dramatic!] people [men n women] i've kissed
after hundreds [not bein dramatic!!!] of kisses
never in my life, not even once, i tasted lips like his........
uuuuuuuuuh.......
soft, smooth, jelloid.... arghh..... couldnt describe it precisely.
uh,... and im so shocked!
how could this kind of lips ever existed, n i just taste it @my 23????
and how could this rare lips were his?????
why his?????
damn!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

for ffck's sake, i admit it now, im addicted.

im being hysteric

im being loonatic

im being hectic

im being idiotic

wadugh... tersera mo pcaya taw tidak, tpiiiiiiii... ini nyataaaaaa !!!!!!!!!!
sriusan tu bibir langka bener!!!!
aargh..... sampe2 mo mencium lgi pun ku jadi ragu. takuuuuuuuut mrusak ke-langkaan-nya
hohohohoho...bner jadi yg gila gini, mampus saya.
jadi norak
jadi kempring

hiahahahaha.......... im a hysteric loonatic.
addicted to his rare lips.

smogaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa bibirnya tetep terjaga kelestariannya.
karena klo ada seseorang yg mrusak keindahan dan knikmatannya, 100% pasti kubantai,.
kan kukirim org itu ke alam lain dan tentunya scara perlahan dan penuh kekejian dan kelaknatan,.

oh ma goat....
cant stop thinking bout that lips.
bibir yg langka, yg nikmat, yg surgawi,. [najish gila bahasanya!!!!!]
hiahahahahaha

sperti candu yg membuat hasrat slalu merindu

aarghhhhhhhhh....
ffffffffffffffck!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mau...mau...mau...mau...mau...mau...mau...mau...mau...mau...

gila...

gila...

gila...

hahahahahaha.....aaargggh...... najissssssssssssssssssshit... gw jadi kempring berat gini.uh......

"irma, knp loe?"

"ah, ga knp2"

"srius? ga knp2?"

"yesh, cuma gila aja dikit"

Cultivate your hunger,
before you idealize

Motivate your anger,
to make them all realize

Climbin' the mountain,
never coming down

Break into the contents,
never falling down

My knee is still shaking, like I was twelve
Sneaking out the classroom, by the backdoor
A man railed at me twice, though, but I didn't care
Waiting is wasting for people like me

Don't try to live so wise
Don't cry 'cause you're so right
Don't dry with fakes or fears
'Cause you will hate yourself in the end


You say, "Dreams are dreams"
"I ain't gonna play the fool, anymore"
You say, "'Cause I still got my soul"

Take your time, baby, your blood needs slowing down
Breach your soul to reach yourself before you gloom
Reflection of fear makes shadows of nothing

You still are blind, if you see a winding road
'Cause there's always a straight way to the point you see

Don't try to live so wise
Don't cry 'cause you're so right
Don't dry with fakes or fears'
'Cause you will hate yourself in the end


'Cause you will hate yourself in the end

wat's d deal?
um... am havin sum difficulties coping wit anything dat involvin emotion. but d problem is, everythin must come wit certain emotion. whether is it from me or sumone else's. that is the least thing i need. emotion. yesh. and u know wat????????? wat i need rite now is silentness. and.............................. it's so fuckin annoying dat everyone wont let me have my peace. i just want a lil time, in peace wit the absent of disturbance, for writing. but look wat i got? someone is watchin tv wit a fckin loud noise, and askin me this askin me that, hmmpf... cant they just keep their mouths shut for a while???????? um..well...dunno why am feelin so happy and so fcked up at the same time. need to organize. need to rearrange. haha. happy n fcked up. which one is dominant?
both! so... gonna need to arrange this state before one of the feeling become dominAnt. Yesss.... got to rearrange my messy happiness. will i be able? anyway, nowadays, i realized that i becoming a person wit sumwat high self-monitoring. hihihihi.... changing into a bad and ugly person. usually i dun ever give a damn about wat people think about me, wat i do, or evrything. but, why it's started to change? is it a good thing? or is it a bad thing? or is it a neutral thing? ha. crap! people changed, always changed. become good or bad, they're always change. but i'll never judge them for dat, even tho i'll grade them, but it's none of my concern to judge them or tellin them wat to do. and anyway, a bit confused here, now. i think i'm faking myself. witout any means to do it. it's sorta happened itself. or i might be forced to be sum1 else, forced by surroundings or the situation. and i hate it. i hate it and hate it more. bein is this kind of state makes me feel so miserable. but this miserableness causing a cute happy feeling. u know like, making me feel like wanna smile and in the same time thinkin how idiotic i am, but enjoying and proud of the idioticness. uh... feel like having butterflies inside my belly, and makes me wanna puke but dun want the butterflies to be vanished. let all the butterflies wander around, even tho they make me sick. conflicting. so wat's d point here? as usual. pointless. and im happy. and im fcked up. a happy life. a fcked up life. yesssssh... this is my messy happiness. and i know precisely now, that it needed no arrangement.

Rest In Peace

KEIKO

on

14th of May 2008

We love keiko so much, but God loves him more...

uhm...
after absent yg lama...
stelah blog sialan ini terlantar,,,
akirnya ada waktu jga buat nulis lagi.

and... dunno why... slama sbulan ga nulis, byk bgt masalah di idup ak.
lah? emg kpn saya ga pny masalah yah? hihihihi
tpi untungny walaupun beberapa masalah diadepin dgn emosi yg membludak, tpi tetep terselesaikan [untk sementara] tanpa memberikan efek signifikan [sperti turbulensi] thd diri saya.

tau ah...
jd aneh rasanya nulis di blog. soalnya kmaren2 nulisnya di log book.
hihihihi...

anyway.....
trimakasih Tuhan, hidup saya sudah kembali warnawarni dgn dominasi warna grey.
huiahahahahaha......

uh,,,

ya gitulah.

short review of my life until now

[family] fine

[pets] kiba is gud health and poor brain, and keiko is sick... hixs.. get well soon,keiko darl.

[friends] making neu ones now. leving the bad ones

[social life] not making any degradation, feel like i'm climbing up to the top [hell yea!]

[lovelife] wat's love? hohohoho..... still loveless bcos of the heartless

[job] msh mengabdi utk mningkatkan taraf kecerdasan bangsa [hiahia]

[emotion] mostly in a gud mood, and always up for a smooch [dsr jalang!!]

[perjalangan] huahahaha.... still numero #1 duuunk!!!!!


nah...itu dia........

ga ada yg beda kan?

still a colorful greyish life...... my life...... mine....


tha2 for now.