tpi msh tetep dunk ahhhhhhhhhhhh....!!!!!

numero #1 j.a.L.a.N.k !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

that is one thing that will never changed.......

wow...

cma blg satu kata aja.... tpi binun mw blg apa ya?

wow???

tau ahhhhhhhhh.....

tpi yah, i feel so ffckin relieved.

skrg udh tw rasanya gmn.

rasa apaan siiih?????????

apa yaaaa????

hohohohohohohohoho

for ffck's sake.....

i am in LOVE...!!!!!!

whaaaaaaaaaaat????????

hiahahahahahhahaa

blm yakin bgt sih klo yg gw rasain ini adalah "hal busuk" itu, tpi yah...it seems like it is. and u know what? never been sure than before, until he said the same thing. yea.. for all these times, dia yg slalu menghindari kata-kata "busuk" itu. and when he said that, i do feel happy, and relieved, and i think i felt the same. or maybe it's just an euphoria? feeling somewhat in love just bcos i knew that someone that i had-crush-with is in love with me? ah..i dun care, i love the feeling, and enjoy it sooooo much. oh, darling........... i am so ffcked up... hahahahahhaha..............

i've always said to many people who were in love with me

"r u trying to tell me that u love me?"

"well..no...yes...no... i mean i dun know"

"how come u said that u dun know?"

"i dun know! i lost my appetite when u're not here, i got this weird feeling in my stomach every time i see u around"

"ooo..no..no... u got butterflies in ur stomach!! and u know what? butterflies go to be killed!!!"

[haghag..quoting from blair's from gossip girl statement!!]

and ffck... i am feeling that now! i got a whole bunch f butterflies in my stomach, and the worst thing is... those butterflies got very active every time i think of hime or hearing his voice! aaah.... lame.... and what will those butterflies do when i meet him??????

unimaginable imagination... halag,,, kata2nya tai banget..!!!

du...du...du...

kacau duniakuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!!!!!!

hahahahahahahahahahaahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

gila gw!!!! gila!!! gila!!! gilaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

keanehan berantai [apa ssehh??!] telah terjadiiiiiiiiiiiiii.......................!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

sbenernya ini hal yg lucu.
atau aib yah?? dugh ga ngerti deh gw

jadi gini, my period [a.k.a MENS] usually starts between 31st to 2nd.
and suddenly, tanggal 25 ko gw udh having my period yah?
krn stress kah? spertinya masuk akal...

pantesan aja beberapa hari kebelakang gw tuh yg BIRAHI bangeeeeeedh!!! haghaghag
pengen nge-ffck aja kerjaannya, dan yg menyedihkan, hasrat itu blm terpenuhi!!!
sialaaaaaaaaan
bukan krn ga ada objek [duhh.....] tpi krn gw lgi ngidam ma seseorang.
yaaah....... ternyata....... ngidam bgd gw ma dia!
and it was so relieving knowing that i'm in lust wit him. [njed, ternyata gw BLUM jato cinta ma diia...!]
pengeeeeeeen bgt ngeswe [idiiih,...bahasanyaaaa!!!!]

tau ahhh,..... dan slama fase ke-HORNY-an gw yg xtreme itu.... spertinya byk skali hal2 yg gw lakuin tpi gw ga sadar dan ga inget klo ngelakuin itu.
apa coba??
gini, tadi siang.....
pas lagi dirumah spupu2 gw tersayang, gw mw ganti pembalut,.
then gw kaget.
ko ni jemb*t [haghaghag] tiba2 udh cepak aja????!!!!
pdhl takir kali yg gw inget, blm se-cepak ini. [havent wax it for like 2 months???!!]
kaget aja gw, ko bisa tiba2 cepak yah?
did i shave them unconsciously?????
masa sih bsa lupa?
sdgkn gw yg udh sober bgt!!! [didnt drink, didnt swallow any drugs]
so gmn bsa ampe skip gtu???

tau ahhhhhhhh
satu keanehan yang patut dicari penjelasan logisnya.

bingung gw... sumpahhhhh
bingung bingung bingung....!!!!!

jadi jalank goblok kyknya gw skrg.

haghaghag
aneh!!!

tu judul bkn dlm artian sbenernya loh.
[klo bnrn pgn mkn tai, aah...tolol dunk gw!!]
cma emg these days were so ffckin sssuckkks!!!!!!
binun mw lampiasin ke apa atw ke mana. nda mgkin jga mabok2an gtu. dugh...kyk yg udh out of date bgdh.[macam abg ja plarian nya mabok..]
akirnya...
gw potong rambut.
just for info... sebelumnya [msh dlm bln juni] ada kali gw ngegunting rambut gw ampe 5 atw 6 kali.
ya poni lah [3x, potong sebawah alis, trus potong dibikin miring trus potong lgi se-alis] trus rmbut daerah deket kuping dipendekin, trus ganti ngeratain ujung2 rambut
[dan mayan byk jga motongnya].
dan skrg... haghaghaghag.... poni udh jauuuuuh diatas alis, rambut smakin pendek dan modelnya skrg udh brantakan.

klo kata madam mah "itu rambut kyk ga prnh disetrika!!!"

"heee???? madam pikir rambut gw baju apaah??!!"

"iyee...lecek !!!"

tugh.. kesian bgd yak gw?
emak gw sndiri aja ampe bilang gtu...

trusss... ada masalah lagi...
badan gw makin membesar sajaaah...
dugh... bknnya gw takut gemuk atw gendut,...
tapi baju2 gw udh pada mlai mengetat dan menyempit... uggghhh
dan perut lucuku ini makin membuncit dgn indahnya [assssiiikkk!!!] dan akibatnya clana2 mulai kudu dpaksain biar muat, dan akibatnya gw jadi agak sesek aja... ughhh...
udh gtu ni pantat jga mulai xtreme..aaah,,... mulai ga balance dah,...
dan herannya...
dgn pembengkakan badan gw ini, ko toket [yg emg dr awalnya agak rata] mlh mulai smakin merata yahhh????
dugh..dugh... makin lucu sih [mnurut gw!! scara gw NARSIS!!]
cumaaaaa... kok jdi ga balance bgt kliatannya.
prut ma toket balapan dan hebatnya prut gw yg nyampe finish dluan... haghaghag...
krn nda ada budget buat blanja, jadii kaos2nya madam gw bajak aja,,,, dan kaosnya gede2 smua and akirnya gw sadar dan pasrah, mulai saat ini, gw hrs memakai kaos2 gombrong nan kdodoran.. biarkan saja,... toh nanti pada akirnya akan menjadi trend [sok2an trendsetter bgd gw..!!]
ya gaaa????
tau ahhhh......

blm lgi mslh dgn tmen2,
trus mslh ma emosi gw
trus mslh dgn hati gw., yg tdinya udh mulai ada bykan dikit, eh skrg malah kena erosi trusss abisssssss dan hanyutttt... ilang lgi hatiku... pdhl susah loh mereproduksi hati..

yahhh itulah.... hidupkuuuuuuuuuuuu...
pengen ngegaruk aspal tpi ntar kuku gw yg indah berkuteks mlh jdi rusak.
pengen bunuh diri, tpi gw ga sedepresi itu.
pengen mabok, tpi ga kpengen [lho??gmn tu yah mksdnya??]
ya dah deh... pengen makan tai aja.... hiahahaha

ada yg mo ikutan???

take it........ take my 20%....

leave me nothing

take my 20%

leave me with nothing,.

cos u already took away my 80%

and now..

take my 20%

i beg.. i kneel..


and leave me with nothing

ngahahahaha...

judulnya tae bgt ya.
yarin ah,,.. biar kyk yg seru gitu.

hoho.. anyway, whose heart that bein pink-painted?? mine??? no..no..no..
ga seru yah, klo bukan hati gw yg jadi pink.
ngarep sih gw [bangettt!!] klo hati gw akirnya jadi pink.
ugh, tpi susah bgt.
walopun ada seseorang yg menganggap saya punya hati dan tidak menganggap saya seorang jalank. tapiiiii..... ahhhh... tau...
he said "jgn sebut jalank lagi ah, bagi saya kmu bukan jalank"
dan ku respons apa coba???
ku jawab dgn bodohnya "aah, masa?"
krn speechless aja... ko msh ada yah org yg nganggep saya bkn jalank.??!!
and that makes him sooo..... special [hiahaha] and i wish i could pink-ed my heart... damn...!!!!!

i want hiiiim...!!!!! badly...!!!! [aarggh...akirnya ngaku jga gw!!!! ga tahan, sob!]

HAHAHAHAHAHA

remember yah... i want him. not love him. coba dicerna baik2 kalimatnya.

i want him..!! i want him..!!

mengapa oh mengapa....... cabulitasku menggebu bila mengingat dirimu????????

knapa siiih..... saat kejalangan saya pada titik puncak [thd dirimu]. kmu mlh bilang saya bukan jalank?

knapaaaaaaaaa?????????

slalu aja otak kotor yg pegang dominansi atas sgala sesuatu yg berhubungan ma kmu.
uuugh............
apa iya...??
kmu adalah makhluk berkuping lancip, bertanduk dan berekor trisula yg diciptakan untukku???????
apa iyaaaaaaaaa????????

btw, adakah iblis yg tidak merokok dan tidak minum alkohol.....???????

uh....damn...!!!
ternyata kesialan gw ga brenti ampe kasus anjing bdebah itu. kudu ditambah dengan red period... huhuhuhu.... sial... krn ko tumbenan perut gw agak krasa mlilit, pdhl klo mens, gw paling jarang [hampir ga pernah] sakit perut. ughhh.....menyebalkan....trus tadi start dari pagi ampe malam ini ni betis nyut2an banget...!!!! aduuuuuuugh............... help meeeeeee!!!! ffffuckkkk.... gw mulai desperate.
capek!!! ni m***k gw jga rasanya puegelllll bangedh.... mengeluarkan darah terus mnerus, tembus sana tembus sini, ngabis2in pembalut...... pemborosan besar2an...!! susah emang jadi cewek, kudu ada waktu tiap bulan untuk merelakan kenyamanan kewanitaan dgn membiarkan m***k gw disumpel kapas gepeng yg aneh dan mnarik tpi menyebalkan...dan penderitaan lainnya ada lagiiiii....u know wat?????!!!!!!! roko abiiissssh trus ga ada duit speser pun untuk beli roko walopun cuma sbatang. haghag!! ni idup lagi indah2nya, krn byk bgt hal2 konyol tpi menyebalkan yg terjadi. tapiiiii..... sbagai seorang jalang, gw mah sbenernya ga annoyed bgt ma sikon skrg. paling emosi mledak2 ga keruan, tpi cma dalam waktu singkat ko. hiahahahahay.... ni bru idup warna/i kelabu yg kusukaaaaa. karenaaaaaa......... perutku makin buncit [thanks to lemak2 and mens yg membantu gw membuncit] daaaaan....... berat gw udh 47 kilo... hiahahahaha.... walopun ga da perbedaan signifikan pada postur bodi gw, tpi seneng bangedh liat angka di timbangan. yea...47 kg. dan lucunyaaaaa..... yg gemuk tuh cma perut gw aja. hiahahahahaha..... jdi ngebet bgt pengen pergi k kolam renang trus berendem. pasti gw bakal mirip bgt ma kudanil, yg doyan berendem ampe merem melek dan tentunya dengan perut yg menyembul keluar permukaan air... hohohoho.... anggap aja pelampung natural. wuiiiiih..... djijay bgt emang klo dbayangin, tpi srius deh..... indah loh perut gw...!!!!!! la.. la.. la.. im a fffuckin happy unlucky whore!!! and still numero #1 jalank....... haghag!!