ihhhhhhh...

knp siiiih....?????

ko spertinya saat ak merasa sangat normal, ternyata publik [yaelah, publik!!] mengatakan sebaliknya????

am i a real twisted freak?
am i only 18% normal compared to 'a million or so' people?
gawd damn!!!!


hiahihihihihihihi....

but to be honest....

hm...... i feel kinda unique.

haaa,,,, shitfull..!

many peole asked me about this blog's posting,
hey asked me "is this the real u?"
uuh,,, i just can't answer it.

i dunno. is it the real me? or just the un-leashed me? or the imaginary me?

aaaah..........
too sick to think about it.

u know, writing is my theraphy to get myself on one piece.

so, maybe... these writing are about something that i'm not.

who knows?
and who wouldn't know?

it's up to u to make the judgement.

and whatever ur judgement will be, i tell u ... i dun give a damn or a single shit about it.

ngahahahaha,,,,....

dun blame me for bein such a bitch.
but ur judgement, means nothin to me, honey.

got it from facebook's quizzes

as for the result..

i am :
Ganesha's Dream

Ganeshas Dream is an excellent mix of Northern light mixed with Shiva.

Ganeshas Dream is light green and stronger than the original Northern light.

Shes a short bushy plant that grows well on bio soil.

An extremely sweet smell.

A bit stronger smoke when compared to Northern light and has a stronger high.

Number one of its kind and is well suited for indoor cultivation.

This plant has a wonderful aroma is relatively easy to grow.

yea.. wat a ffckin lousy title..

mau ga mau, sayang...
trima aja yah? [eh.. ?]

after a few nice [shitty] moments wit sumone.
and after a few [awesome] turbulent moments wit sumone.

and... i've come to a big [un-important] decision.

hell.. yea... i am gonna give away my "single" status.
but still dunno when.

and.. ehm.. tired of bein single.
believe it or not, honey.
even a ffckin heartless whore like me, can feel a bit tired of "singleness"

but chirrup, darl.
dat doesn't mean dat i'm gonna retired from bein a ffckin heartless and loveless whore.

for a women [or a girl? damn!] like me..
it's not too hard bein involve in a loveless relationship.
but i choose to involve in a kind of lovefull relationship.

dough... luv???? wat's dat all about? suddenly talkin 'bout luv?
not tryin to be so ffckin sentimental, or mellow or watever.
am just tryin to find and experience a nu life [if dat's wat u called life]

hm... am so ffckin bored, darl.
life's been kinda challenge-less nowadays, my life it is, for sure.

so...

like it or not
am takin dis decision, and not accepting any objection from u guys.
[does ur opinion really matter? who da ffck r u, man...???!!]

okay,..
enuff wit the craps.

straight to d point, now.
cos my fingers feel kinda stiff.

as my "single" status will be dumped away..

i inform u all.

dat i am in luv.

ha..? back again to "luv" ?
can i luv?
can i luv when i am heartless?
hehehehe....
surely i can.

i am in luv wit my self.
and am gonna married to myself.

even tho, when i'm in a relationship [ouch..!] wit sumone other than myself,
it is just bcos i need "in relationship" status.

just to make my parents feel relieved.
so dat they wont have to feel worried and wondering to theirselves.
"why our ffckin insane daughter doesn't hav a boyfriend?"

do u understand?

cos it's so annoying hearing the same lame question over n over again.
"dont u wanna hav a boyfriend?"

aaaaarrggghhh.................. it makes me hoping dat i could be deaf for a while.

uhm... am ffckin tired typing.

i guess, i've made these things clear. haven't i?

okay then.

c u.

luv u [but not as much as i luv myself!!!! u know dat for sure!!]

I could talk to you for days
You make me laugh one thousand ways
Not realising (you for me)
Like hot water (and my tea cup)

I'm enchanted by your smile
I must admit took a while
For me to see that (this was something)
More than (he's my friend, it's nothing)

I hope to God, you feel the way I feel
Cause this could be amazing
Something so super real

There's something about you
And you don't even know it
I'm telling you know that you got me good
There's something about you
And I can't help but show it
Damn it you got me good
Now I'm not alone
With you I'm home, I've gotta let you know
You got me good

Your style your voice your points of view
The good the bad and ugly too
Boy I'll take it (give it to me)
I'll be careful (give it to me)
Addiction don't come close to this
Official is what this shit is
Still I can't say
No I can't say that (I'm in love)

I hope to God, you feel the way I feel
Cause this could be amazing
Something so super real

There's something about you
And you don't even know it
I'm telling you know that you got me good
There's something about you
And I can't help but show it
Damn it you got me good
Now I'm not alone
With you I'm home,
I've gotta let you know
You got me good

I just wanna
Be your all and all
I just wanna be the one to make you fall
I wanna take you away
I want you to be with me
I want you here with me forever
Be my holliday

Let me take you away

There's something about you
There's something about you
And you don't even know it
I'm telling you know that you got me good
There's something about you
And I can't help but show it
Damn it you got me good
Now I'm not alone
With you I'm home, I've gotta let you know
You got me good

[jamelia, sumthin 'bout u]

There’s no purity in me anymore!!!

sampe sekarang msh keinget…. dgn jelas… bagaimana rasanya… ketika…. ah…. damn!!!!

dun get it ? nope? not yet?

okay..

hmmpf…

menceritakan ini spertinya memberikan kmungkinan yg tidak kecil bahwa saya nantinya akan menjadi bahan celaan tman2 saya. [do I hav a friend? hehe]

so.. back to this crappy [or tragic] story [or incidents]. yea yea whatevr.

di suatu hari sebelum tgl 12-02-08.

[before u read it… pleez… ignore d grammar, honey]

I woke up in the morning wit a terrible growling in my stomach. aah… hunger attack!
so,, I wake up and grabbed a glass of water and drink it.
damn… I was so ffckn hungry.

wat’s on the dining table? ah.. nothing..
wat’s on the refrigy? hmm.. yum eee… milk, bread, eggs.. and again I said “yum Eee”

finished my breakfast in a speed of lite. ah… thank God… I’m stuffed well… yea..
today’s gonna be gud. no one wit an empty stomach can live a day wit smiles. agree?

trussssssss….
eh…………..
pas lg santai-santai abis sarapan… uuuh…
um…
ko..? spertinya… agak… geli… ni…?
eh… gatel… ni… pantat… uh… geli… gatel…

ooh…. Ffffffffck…. lobang pantat ku gatelllllllllll……
iiiih….. jgn2 kremian lagi… ah… tidak… cacingan lagi????

uh…..
sumpah… for all the sakes of the cunts on this universe… gatel2 nya tu yg bikin geli yg bikin gemes mo ngegaruk…. tapi bgmn bisa?????
ngegaruk lobang pantat??? uugh… yg ada ntar malah besat-beset lobang gw.

ku coba cebok… pake aer anget…. GA NGARUH !

coba cebok lagi… pake aer dingin… masih GA NGARUH !

udah… desperate…
how to get rid this ffckin itch bitch???????

need an emergency call….
and who am I turn to on an emergency???
yeshhh… yeshh,…. none other than MADAM !!!!

so,,…

“madaaaaaaaaaaaaam……!!!”

“apa deeeeeee’???? knp tereak2 sih? emang gw budek?”

“aaah… tolong madam… tolong….!”

“tolong apa? kmu knp?” [muka madam mulai agak beremosi panic]

“udah ada 4 jam kali ne… nahan… aww… ga kuattt”

“crita de’! ada apaaaa? ah… mama jd deg2an nih” [lho ko dia mlh deg2an??]

“um..madam.. spertinya saya kremian deh” [tengsin bgt ngomongnya]

“eh.. kremiaaan..??! gw kira lu jatuh cinta. kirain… ah.. kremian toh. bikin panic aja lu”

[laah..???! ni orang… bner2 dah!]

“ye.. emg napa jga panic klo saya jatu cinta? bneran ni, mam.. gateeelllllll!!!!!”

“udah sana masuk kamar… mama liat pantatnya.” [hihihihihi… madam,dikau baik skali]

masuk kamar lah saya. dgn madam ngikutin di blkg.

“copot clana nya de’”

“sriusan ma, lobang pantatku kau mau intip2? ga jijik gitu?”

“abis mo gmn lagi.? drpd lu brisik gatel geli gatel geli. bikin gw puyeng tau!”

I took off my short, and my undies too.

“naek tmpat tidur gih. cpetan…! gw mo masak neh!”

“iya iya..” [sambil naek k tmpt tidur]

“posisinya, de’. stengah nungging gitu bisa gak?”

“stenga nungging? gini?” [sambil stenga nungging lah pastinya]

“iyeh.. tunggu… tahan dulu…”

“lah… mo kmn madam?”

“bentaran, diem aja dulu. biasanya klo posisi gtu, kreminya bkl beraktifitas lagi.”

“masa?”

“iya. tahan bentar”

“eeeh… gatel lagi madaaaaam… awww…”

“tuh kan….”

“hehe.. ko bner yaaah? kirain madam cma…. aaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhh ffffffuckkkkkkkkk!!! mak! mak!! apaan ituuuuuu??? lobang pantat gw lu masukin… duh… jgn diaduk2 lobang guaaaaaa maaakkk!!!!”

[dgn nada super statis] madam jawab,

“brisik lu. diem aja napa. ini cotton bud dipakein minyak tawon. kecil gini, masa sakit? ga sakit kan? biar pada mati tu kremi sialan”

“waaaaaa….masa pantat gue dicolok pake cotton bud? yg bner aja mak!”

“daripada jari gw yg masuk? mendingan cotton bud! lagipula, gua jga jijik masukin jari gw k lobang pantat lo”

“ya allah….. wat d ffck is wrong wit my mom..??!”

“he.. mulut tuu.. skolahin!”

“hmmpf..”

“udh beres… msh gatel ga? mama masak lagi yah”

sambil ngeloyor kluar kamar seolah tdk pernah terjadi apa2.

seolah2 dia tadi tidak mencolok pantat saya dgn cotton bud.

seolah2 bukan dia yg ngaduk2 lobang pantat saya.

seolah2 tidak ada org yg lagi stenga nungging di tempat tidur.

after that…

hm……. anget2 gitu… rada perih2 dikit tapi enak… hiahihihihihihi
tapi bneran… stelah rasa anget dan perih itu ilang.

gatel geli akibat si kremi sdh tidak terasa lagi.

huahahahahahahaha….. si kremi2 bangsat itu sudah migrasi ke daerah “minyak-tawon free”.
I am sure about that.

well… thanks to madam…

my ass’ purity is gone. but I am kremi free.

well… nothing to lose jga.
remembering that impurity is what I am all about. hihihihihii

[dun forget dat I’m a whore, fella]

that’s all..

later, ffcker…!

today's mood is so 'effin [=ffckin] screwed.

need 2 get myself back on d line.

how? how?
u ask how?
u wanna knoe how?

haha.. easy..

i just take a deep breath and said to myself,
"ok then. JALANG mode: Perfectly ON !!"

yesh..believe it or not. it was that easy.

as for dat 'effin unworthy boy.
i kinda wanna keep'em for a while.
i'll just pretend 2 b a hell nice bitch [just lyk he wanted me 2 b]
but, watch ur back,cunt... i am gonna make u fall down on ur kness n break urself apart.

hihihihi...
talking 'bout bein way too dramatic, but this'll be 'effin interesting.

gonna clean up my polished-nail,
gonna stop drinking [in front of'em of course! d backshows will surely go on!],
gonna lessen my ciggs...
hahaha....
gonna be a nice girl [or bitch? u name it]

after everything seems 2 b back in their places.
am gonna show it all off.
am gonna reveal my true self.
of course after i got laid. [depends on d result, or how much "coming" i got]

**if d results is "gud", am gonna use the polite way 2 show'em d real me.
lyk :

"honey,dat was gud...umm..i'm sorry dat all these times i've been lying. d fact is i nevr stop drinking, i still wear nailpolish behind ur back. and still smoke a box of ciggs everyday. Will u forgive me,darling? i swear i can change..."

**if d results is "argh", am gonna use my original whore's way.
lyk:

"wat d ffck was dat..??! i didnt even moan..!! well, u knoe. afterall those lies dat i've been tellin u. i've always thought dat it'll worth a gud sex. but now...??? aaah,,... u r so 'effin lame boy! and i still drunk even now, i'm drunk. can u tell? still smoke a lotss. still wear nail polish. and i even wanna dye my hair purple. and yesh, u can leave me. cos, u knoe wat? u're not dat gud.. even worse... u're... ah..even junior high school boy can do it better."

**if d results is "coming..coming.coming..ah..damn! coming again"
i'll say nothing.
better do it again... and again... and again...
hahahaha
i can do the talking later, can't i?
[how can u throw away sucha gift?? huehehehe]

iih...
wat's wrong wit u, man..????!!!

"who da hell r u to tell me how to live? u think i sell my body?! i merely sell my time! i ain't no cinderella, i ain't waitin for a prince to save me. infact, until just now i was doin just fine! and on! and on!" -lori meyers, NOFX-

he's no prince anyway, at least i think so.

um.... so far.... no contact at all.
still fine. still doin damn fine.
still got nana, still got sonjed a my trash bin. [luv u so much, guys!]

and wat i feel rite now?

"oh..yes.. i'm fine. everything's just wonderful. i'm having the time of my life"
-everything's just wonderful, LILY ALLEN-