as you walk bymy heartit perishesto dustto kill theearth's crustfailed to seecause of blindnessas with nointention walks my feettoward the wonders of theworld and die amongthe flowersas the peel likea ravishing diesasecorrupted hearthurting meas blood runscold slippingthrough fingersand running crosshides just behindthe transparentdisguisepiercing eyesinject thefleshas it boilshot androtsthe skullseject the bodiesas silentlywe stareinto the openand find nohopecreatingnothingbut tearingall happinessto treacherousscarpsof heartbreakas then thetentacle oflove iswretched amongall tattered soulsas flames embroiledthe joy you spring she lies embedded in blackroses dead.

--dark princess--

THE THINGS THAT PEOPLE DO,THE HATRED,THE DESPISE,THE AGONY THAT WE WILL MAKE THEM FEEL. WHY DOES ONE DO OTHERS LIKE THAT?MAYBE IT IS BECAUSE THAT THEY KNOW THE DARK SICK SIDE AS THEY WANT TO CALL IT. THE WAY PEOPLE DO WILL GET IT BACK 3 FOLD. BY THE TIME THEY HAVE READ THIS,THE 3 FOLD HAS ALREADY BEEN DONE. NOT FOR THE MEAK,BUT FOR THE WEIRD,FOR THE LOST,FOR THE SOULS THAT CRY AFTER NIGHT. LET THEM THINK HOW PEOPLE ARE. LET THE SHADOWS SEE THE TRUTH. LET THE BLACK MAGIC COME ALIVE. LET THE BEAST COME FROM UNDER THEIR BEDS AND ATTACK. ATTACK THEIR SOULS AT NIGHT AND SEE THE DEMON OF THE HATRED THAT THEY FELT FOR THE OTHER ONES. LET THE BEAST SHOW THEM HOW IT FEELS TO BE TORTURED BY THEIR OWN NEIGHBOR. LET THE WORLD KNOW TONIGHT. . .LET THEM DIE!

listening to media distorsi yg confession part 2...
ahayyyy.... makin kelam aja... ga tau knapa.. ko tiba2 pas nyadar lgi duduk di pojokan in my bedroom under meja blajar wit my light turned off....
gelap, di pojok, listening to that fckin depressing song.... oohhh.... ffckkkkk....

knowing the truth, truth that hardly i can accept... yea... one fact... my life now is soooo... messy.. fcked up,... dunno why... dunno how... even i dunno when it started,, u know... i have no clue at all...
help me please...
bein a screwed up alcoholic... fffffffccccck........
cant even spend a nite witout gettin alcoholized.
this is my worst degradation.
im a loner.. but not lonely, i have a loyal companion. beer it is.
hhhahaha.... so lame....
actually, feeling like i hav sum1, but feeling alone at the same time..
like i hav sum1 to rely on. but hav 2 b independent at the same time.
absurd.

today... visit nia @her house.

nia baru dateng dari bandung, and i have a sinful business [hhahha]. jadi aku maen lah ke rmhnya.
dan disana ada her sister, and her sister's daughter [nia's nephew]. her nephew's name is Aurel.
aurel itu lucuuuuuuuuuuuuuu bangeeeeeeeedh... tapiii.... oh my god, she's so evil. judessssh beratttttt..... sumpahh.... nia is as brutal as me, as scary as me... and it's good 2 see her so powerless, and bein abused and exploited by her demonic nephew. hhahaha...

imagine.... cewek yg amat sgt brutal, mnakutkan, sinting, "sakit", doyan brantem, di aniaya oleh seorang anak umur 3 thn.
hhahaha... aurel slaps nia's face sooooo many times... and i knew for sure it hurtss.. ouchh... dan nia hanya bisa bilang "ouch... sakiiiit!" hhahhahahahaha....
dan itu blm cukup... aurel memukul dan melempar nia dengan stik golf... hahahahahahaa..... GOLF STICK !!!!! For ffck's sake!!!! ngahahahahahaaha.......... it must be hurts a lotsssssssss....
and again, nia can only say "ouuuuuucccchhhhhh.... sakiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit..!!!!" hahahahahahaha......

dengan puasnya ak ktawa ampe puaaaaaassss....bangedhhh!!!

trus maen2 lah di prosotan nya si aurel.... sambil masih mencela2.....
dan saya jatuuuuuuuuuhhh...... jatuh kebalik. iyaaaah.... i fell upside down...!!! sakitttttttt...... ya dan sialnya orang2 yg menyaksikan insiden menyeramkan itu [hha..dramatis!], instead of helping me, they laughed!!!!!!!! siallllllllllllllllllllll...............

as the results.... ankle, knee, thigh, back, neck, arm... smuanya sakit...!!! ugh.... im a silly lucky jalank....... hahahahahahahahhahaa

being in an "idiot-attack" [kind of syndrom dat makes me so damn idiotic... i mean... damn idiot] really pain d ass. and many embarassing moments happened. yea... stupid.. no.. idiot. so, yesterday, i went up late. jadi, in a rush siap2 untk kerja. dan witout taking a bath. i thought of taking a bath @ d office. so i put my presentation suit [cos i had 2 do a ffckin presentation]. and well, yessh,,.. i look so charming, and classy and elegant and sophisticated [hha... narcist]. luckily, my friend pick me up. so... yes, lucky... sampai kantor, i went straight to meeting room. and............... my dad was already there. and stare @ me like...hmmm.... i dunno... scary stare!!! while in other hands, i walked in wit a perfect high self esteem. and..... after a smile and a "good morning" ... i stood in front of them. and they laughed..... wut????? wut's wrong??? yaaaaah....... i still wearing my huge pighead slipper.... damn........ i didnt wear my high heels, instead i wore my ugly xtremely huge pighead slipper. yups.... n no need 2 tell u more. cos i know u can imagine how that ended up. fffck......

yessssh......

i will...

okay..

here r the latest updates bout my life.

physical state : not healthy at all [back to alcoholicity..damn!]

mental state : not good.. 2 b honest.. more screwed than be4, more loon than be4. not cool!

family life : aha... wish i could say "everything's ok"

social life : back to #1 j.a.l.a.n.k !!! haghag... no days wit soberity! [is it gud??]

work life : not jobless!! ahayyy... back bein a teacher. yea..

love life : love? wut d hell is dat?

overall.........

all i cAn do is SMILE and pretend everything's OK.

and actually, everything's OK, just a bit srewed here n there. but i'll manage. bcos dat's wut i always do. i'll be just fine. cos im always fine. rite??????