It was a tough day for some people..some losing their ways,some losing their dreams,some losing everything.. But what I'm tryin to tell is, maybe they're gone and u can't have them back, but there are still lots of ways,lots of dreams,lots of everything out there waiting for u.. So,don't let urself fall apart and go for the best..cos it is what u deserve

Stelah menghilang beberapa saat dri dunia maya (krn ku tak bs menghilang dri dunia nyata) ku kembali.. Entah utk berapa lama..
Smua penat ini seolah menghilang sesaat, lalu brtmbh lgi krn ku menyadari btapa tertinggalnya ak di blkg..
Umm.. Tak apa.. Ak akn brjalan santai saja..

And that is unfinishable homework..
Mjdi irma yg slalu brave and strong.. And tough..
Emm.. I wonder, I'm tough enuff and how tougher can I'll be than how tough I am now..?
Weeewh..bingung itu barusan mksdnya gmn?? Kalimatnya brantakan..

bodo amat ah..
Tpi prcaya deh.. I'm doing my homework kok.. Always.. Wlpn kyknya ga akn slese2.. But at least I'm doing it..
Ya ga..
Penting ga..? ENGGA !!!

Hehehehe

It's been seven hours and fifteen days
Since you took your love away
I go out every night and sleep all day
Since you took your love away
Since you been gone I can do whatever I want
I can see whomever I choose
I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant
But nothing..
I said nothing can take away these blues
`Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to you
It's been so lonely without you here
Like a bird without a song
Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling
Tell me baby where did I go wrong
I could put my arms around every boy I see
But they'd only remind me of you
I went to the doctor n'guess what he told me
Guess what he told me
He said girl u better try to have fun
No matter what you'll do
But he's a fool`Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to you

all the flowers that you planted, mama
In the back yard
All died when you went away
I know that living with you baby was sometimes hard
But I'm willing to give it another try

Nothing compares
Nothing compares to you
Nothing compares
Nothing compares to you
Nothing compares
Nothing compares to you

I know it's been some time
but there's something on my mind

You see
I haven't been the same since that cold November day.
We said we needed space
but all we found was an empty place

And the only things I learned is that I need you desperately.
So here I am and can you please tell me:

Where do broken hearts go
can they find their way home

Back to the open arms of a love that's waiting there?
And if somebody loves you
won't they always love you?
I look in your eyes and I know that you still care for me.

I've been around enough to know that dreams don't turn to gold

And that there is no easy way
no
you just can't run away.
And what we had was so much more than we ever had before

And no matter how I try
you're always on my mind.
So here I am
and can you please tell me:

Where do broken hearts go
can they find their way home

Back to the open arms of a love that's waiting there?
And if somebody loves you
won't they always love you?
I look in your eyes and I know that you still care for me.

And now that I am here with you I'll never let you go

I look into your eyes
and now I know
now I know:

Where do broken hearts go
can they find their way home

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it?
It makes you so vulnerable.
It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.
You build up these defenses, you build this whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you..
then one stupid person,-no different from any other stupid person-, wanders into your stupid life.
You give them a piece of you.
They didn't ask for it.
They do something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own any more.
Love takes hostages.
It gets inside you.
It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, working its way into your heart.
It hurts.
Not just in the imagination.
not just in the mind.
It's a soul hurt,
a body hurt,
a real gets inside you and rips you apart pain.
I hate love..

Love is a word that is constantly heard,
Hate is a word that is not.
Love, I am told, is more precious than gold.
Love, I have read, is hot.
But Hate is the verb that to me is superb,
And Love but a drug on the mart.
Any kiddie in school can Love like a fool,
But Hating, my boy, is an Art.

"Menunggu"
adalah salah satu hal yg..

Mampu membuat seorang irma seketika tidak pduli ktika ambulance lewat..

Mampu membuat irma diam tak bereaksi ktika ada seseorang yg lewat dan meludahkan dahak dgn santainya..

Mampu membuat seorang irma memejamkan matanya dan membungkam suara2 kecil dalam otaknya

Menunggu membuat ku menjadi aneh. Menjadi kuat, atau kebal atau apalah..bingung..
Menunggu sdikit memberikan efek positif pd diriku..
Itu kemarin2..
Sekarang???

Tidaaaaaak...!!!!!!

Mnunggu membuat migren ku kambuh!!!

Mnunggu membuat pandangan ku kabur,sampai ak tdk bisa membedakan antara pink dgn orange!!!

Mnunggu membuat ku membusuk,krn suara2 didalamku semua berubah menjadi belatung yg menggerogotiku dr dalam!!

Mnunggu membuat ku mual, enek, muak, sama sperti ak melihat dahak yang stengah mengering!!

Mnunggu membuat ku merasa mati. Tak berjiwa namun mempunyai nyawa. Tak bersemangat namun ad sdikit hasrat.
sperti mempunyai kaki tpi tidak tau bgmn cara berjalan.
sperti mencintai bulan tpi takut akan gelap malam.

Sperti meminum vodka namun takut mabuk..
Ahahaahhahahahahahha...
Ngaco..gilak..
Buntu ni kpala..
Mw bergerak..mnuju destruktivitas..

Yaaaaaa... Tunggu sayaaaaa...

I guess this is the time for me to stop being so damn stupid.. But it is still okay being dumb once a while :)

I gave lots of thinking til I decided to stop..
Stop thinking and be more careless..
Decided to not giving a gaddamn shit anymore..

Losing luv is hurts like hell.. But there is more than luv..it is friendship.. And I am giving it away now.

Let it be..
Maybe I am not gud enuff, but I do not deserve to be treated this way..
People have their own "-"s and "+"s , that makes the balance..
But if u are forcing to match the "-" with "-" , it will never work out..

I am glad I am here alone, and having a love that understands me and waits for me..
A love that willing to give time to be alone for me to figure it all..
A love that is not judging,
A love that supports my decision..

And now I come to my own decision, soon to be done..

Walk forward, I might looking back over my shoulder but not for this one..
I will not even take a glance of what had happened behind my back..

I am leaving it all behind..
Enuff of being stupid..
Stop sacrificing myself for something that unworthy..

I have a good love and wonderful family,
What else could I ask for..?

It is nearly perfect..
And,
It is truly enuff for me..

Thank GOD :)

Skrg lg d bdg,.
Ku memutuskan untuk berkeliaran k daerah yg ramai..
Krn emg cma niat muter2, ku memakai kaos gombrong dan clana pendek jins yg lumayan pendek plus sndal jepit..
Brkt dgn angkot..tak ad masalah and tak ad acara nyasar..
Sampailah d tmpt tujuan, dan bru terasa pas turun angkot ternyata hawa nya dingiiiin...!!! Aarkh..
Dingin nya makin brasa klo diem..trpaksa hrus jalan terus spy rasa dingin itu sdikit berkurang..
Gak lama perut kroncongan..
Lapaaarrrrr...
Cari makan dgn segera..
Naaah.. Akhirnya dpt tmpt makan, antri, order, bayar and cari tmpt duduk..
Dpt meja lsg duduk.. Wedewww..damn..!! Pas duduk diiiiingiiiiiin bangeeeeeeet!!! Kursinya kursi besi..astagaaah tuhaaan... Lsg sketika menggigil..dan hrus dtahan2 spy ga jd prhatian orang.. Tpi parah trsiksanya, krn hrus makan dan brarti sdikit melakukan "duduk-diam"..
Ahahahaha.. Makin menggigil dtambah lgi mnum cola dingin.. Oooowh... Mrasa beku!!!
Aah.. Hrus kmbali k tempat ku smulaaa... Disana hangatttt... Waduhh... Sialan bandung.. Ressehhh..
Menyebalkan dinginnya..
Tpi skrg ku sdh kmbali brada d tmpt hangat ku.. Santai.. Gulang guling dgn bebas..
Ehehehe.. Salah kostum itu wlpn kliatan spele, tpi bner2 bsa mematikan..pfiuh.. Untung aku selamat...

Come n close the curtain..
Cos wut we need is candlelight.
U n me, and a bottle of and hold me tight.
Cos we know,I'm goin away..
N how I wish..
I wished it weren't so
So take this wine, and drink wit me..
Let's delay our misery..

Ayo melangkah..
Serpihan harapan dan hati yg terkoyak dan tercecer sdh mulai kembali terkumpul..
Saatnya tiba..
Berlari sejenak, lalu bekerja keras..
Serpihan-serpihan yang telah terkumpul belum terjahit dgn rapih..
Beri aku waktu sebentar, akan kujadikan mereka menjadi harapan dan hati yang baru.

Apa artinya?
Tlg jelaskan.. Sejujurnya,
aku takut yg aku maknai adalah salah..
Takut salah mengambil kesimpulan..
Takut salah memutuskan patok ukur nya..
Takut salah mengambil langkah..
Takut salah mendengar, berpikir, menulis..

Merasa takut salah..
Inikah normalitas yg normal?
Inikah normalitas versi mu?

Bingung aku akan kata normalitas..
Karena menjadi normal pun ku tak tahu caranya?
Kupikir diriku ini gila, sebuah pikiran yg normal kah?
Atau saat ku merasa diriku gila, disitulah sebernarnya aku menjadi normal..?

Ooh..normalitas..

Senin dibenci hampir oleh smua orang, tpi ak tidak. I luuurve monday..
I believe, gud things always happen on monday..
Bkn brarti senin itu slalu indah, tpi mnurutku, senin tdk akn pernah seburuk hri2 lainnya..
Bkn brarti badai slalu berhenti di hari senin, tpi di hari senin, badai slalu akan mereda menjadi hujan terkadang gerimis terkadang terang benderang dgn matahari..
Kalau ku blg ada pelangi, amat sgt berlebihan jadinya.. Karna udh hmpir bertahun2 ga liat plangi.. Aaaa.. Emg bner plangi sdh jarang terlihat, atau ak nya aja yg not lucky enuff to see it?
Well, btw..
Ga ad kmajuan yg signifikan hari ini.
Ak malah merasa agak byk waktu terbuang untuk mlakukan hal2 yg dungu, tapiii..
I am re-charged..
Kapasitas tahan banting nya sdh bertambah!! I am ready for tomorrow,the day after and so on..
Hari ini memang cukup harsh.. Dgn tough decision that I have to make, dan apalah di pagi hari nya..
Tpi..
It is quite comforting,dgn stelahnya watching dvd with someone who I like to be with.. Having lunch.. Playing with abel si anjing dungu, dan bermalas2an..
Only for today.
Yah..
Besok harus memulai lagi dgn sesuatu yg baru, dan bila tidak terbersit ide akan hal baru. Maka ak akan mengikuti alirannya saja dan membiarkan ku menemukannya tanpa sengaja, dan bila ku tak bisa mengikuti alirannya. Maka ku akan pasrah saja dan membiarkan hal baru itu datang padaku.

Setiap detik, menit, jam bahkan hari berlalu..
Tersadarkan..
Sahabatku adalah diriku sendiri..
Bkn dia.. Atau kamu.. Atau mereka..
Biarkan saja..
Lakukan apa aja yg kalian suka terhadapku, itu hak kalian..
Percaya atau tidak, ku tak akan membalas semua perlakuan kalian yg tidak pantas terhadapku..
Biarkan yang punya kuasa menggelitik sedikit pikiran kalian, dgn caraNya sendiri, yang aku, kamu, dia atau kalian tak akan pernah tau..

Sdikit busuk judulnya..
Tpi bnar2 ku mrasakan suatu kerinduan.. Entah terhadap apa atau siapa..
Mungkin kenyamanan..
Atau..
Kesunyian..?
Atau..
Kebebasan..?
Perasaan bebas mungkin..
Tapi dgn segala sesuatu yg menghimpit dan mendesak ku untuk berdiri di pojokan gelap, ada sdikit perasaan bebas yg aku rasa..
Mungkin yg kurindukan adalah sbuah sesuatu-yg-seolah2-jalan-buntu
Mungkin ituuu...
Yaa... Sdikit mrasa yakin itu lah yg aku rindukan...
Atau..
Apalah.. Malas untuk berpikir..
Atau..
Kerinduan akan lepas-dari-smua-aturan?
Sama dgn kebebasan bukan?
Atau..
Kerinduan akan melanggar-sbuah-aturan?
Aah... Spertinya itu salah satu hal yg ku lakukan hampir stiap hari..
Stop.. Enuff..
Cukup..ya..cukup..

Stucked here for 2 days..
Taking care of papa and accompany mama..
Btapa stressful nya hrus terjebak d tmpt para ambulance bersemayam.. But u know wut.. Those fckin ambulances didn't have any single gawddamn effect on me anymore..
Thank u dear GOD for the strength u gave to me..
I'm way more stronger and tougher than before and I believe I can get thru this well..
And for papa, thank u once again dear GOD for giving back my daddy's health.. He's getting better day by day... Can't wait for his coming-back-home day...

Ayo smangaaaaad....!!!!

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Stelah sbulan lebih sakit, akhirnya papa terpaksa drawat di rumah sakit.. Bkn terpaksa jga sih..tpi slalu ujung2 nya mslh duit.. Oh well.. Beratnya.. Sedih ngeliat tmen2 yg seneng2 brg gw dlu trnyata skrg ga pduli dgn keadaan gw.. Tagih sana tagih sini, pinjem sana pinjem sini.. Pfiiuh... Trnyata yg bntu bkn org2 terdekat gw.. It is so ironic,. Yg ngebantu mlh org yg ga dsangka2.. Thank u, guys.. Really thank u..
Smoga papa cpet sembuh... Dan irma hrus tetep jdi kuat dan sabar...
kesehatan tuh penting bgt, krn trnyata biaya rumah sakit tuh mahaaaaal bgt...!!!!

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Apapun itu.. Baik atau buruk.. Aku masih bsa melahap itu smua dengan baik..
And nothing will be different between me and u.. Got that?
Aku adalah rumput liar..
Yg walaupun sdh di injak2 berulang2 kali akan tetap kembali berdiri
Yg walaupun sdh di cabut berulang2 kali akan tetap tumbuh kembali
Ingat bahwa aku tidak selemah itu..
Aku bkn orang yg lemah..
Aku tidak terlahir menjadi lemah
Aku tidak di didik untuk menjadi lemah
Aku bisa, dan akan selalu bisa..

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Survived thru this nite..
Prepare for 2morrow..?
Ah..nope.. Just like I said before.. Stop being static..stop thinking what to do next, or wut will happen or wutever..
Just let it happen by itself..
Good or bad the outcome will be, just accept it..
Hard and heart-stabbing sometimes, but time will heal..

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C'mon.. Smangaaaat irmaaaa..!!!!
Hold urself together and find ur old self.. Get back all those sophisticated way of thinking wit increased skills as a survivor..!!!
Back to old me with stunning character and independency..!

I got lost yesterday, bcos I tried way too hard.. I stop trying now,I stop pushing myself and just let everything happen in natural ways.. Flowing.. And flowing.. And flowing..
And I can sense them,my lost parts, gettin closer to me.. They're coming closer to me.. I can sense them, I can feel them..
I know I'm on a right path now, all I have to do now is to stay on this path.. And soon, everything will back to their places.. I believe that..
I feel somehow relieved..

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I'm sitting here, listening couple of songs that remind me of me and u few decades back, while watching u sleeping and wondering wut u were dreaming...
Everything now is a riddle for me.. There's always a big question mark on every popped-out thought about us..
Will it remain bitter..?
Or it'll gettin better..?
Bitter or better..?
Time will give the answer..
I'll wait.. And try hard to be me, the old me with all feelings that I have for u, feelings that will not change until the end..
Just remember one thing,darling..$
When I say I don't love u, I lied..
And when u say u love me, I hope it's for real..
Bcos I can't kill those feelings.. It's not fair for them..
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I am sleepy..
Tired
But I dun wanna go to bed.
I prefer sitting on living room and enjoy myself..
Alone..
In silence..

Happy eid everyone..
Do forgive me for all mistakes I've made, consciously (oops..my bad!) or unconsciously (it's human's nature)
And do prepare for the next upcoming mistakes.. He eh LOL

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I dunno why..
I'm sad and down and desperate and devastated and depressed and so on.. U can add another negative feeling, and believe me there's no limit..

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Mulai deh.. Klo udh dlm sikon yg kyk gini.. Mulai brisik ni di dalem kpala.. Ada yg bisik2..ada yg triak2.. Akh.. Gaduh.. Pusing...
Jdi mkir gw, apa yg hrs dlakuin yah.. Kok antara mw maju dan diem ja di tempat.. Msh bingung mw mutusin maju atw diem, eh malah mundur gw nya.. Ga sadar pula.. Tahik..
Sbnrnya gw ni dimana koordinatnya.. Klo di cartesius tuh gw di koord mana??? X=0 atw Y=0 ...???!!!!

Pussssssssiiiiingeheeekkkk...!!!!!!

Bete bete bete
Bingung mw ngapain.. Mw tidur tpi blm ngantuk!!!!!
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Mmmh... Smalm bis SOTR brg anak2 komplek..
Trus plg ampe rmh pagi, tidorrrrrr..
Woke up @10 then .. Ngapain yah? Grasak grusuk and grasak grusuk trusss..ngapain lgi yah? Ah.. Well.. Another grasak grusuk.. Trusss.. He eh.. Ga tau ngapain lagi.. Auk ah..

Bingung mw nulis paan lgi..
Udh yak..
Ga meaning jga ni tulisan..

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Nyehehehehe..
Demi rambut ku rela berpanas2an
Demi rambut ku rela ngantri sejam lebih..
Demi rambut ku rela ... Apa yah? He eh.. Prasaan tdi pas dipikirin byk bgt.. Pas mw dtulis ko ilang smua??

Damn..

Oh iya.. Demi rambut ku rela jdi tambah cantik dan mempesona... Huehehehe
Babik..

Oh yaa.. Demi rambut ku rela kpalaku sakit gr2 tarikan2 si mbak noni..
He eh.. Itu sih emg prosesnya yawh?

Kbelet pipis ini skrg...

Mgkn bgini yah rutinitas jadi "janda sementara" ...

Uuuuuuuw.... Ku trima ku trima ku trima asal rambutku indaaaah.... Tak apa gak pake bju pas lebaran.. Asalkan rambutku indaaaah... Hahahaha

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Napa ini kpala? Headache mulu bawaannya...!!!!!
Ga ckup apa 2hri headache terus2an??!
Msa skrg kudu headache jga?
Damn dimn dumn..

Lama2 bsa krezi ni gara2 kpala sialan yg ga bsa d ajak koordinasi..

Akh... Konyol bin kinyil.. Mkin krezi mikirin gmn cara ngilangin ni headache..

Frik bgt ih ni kpala gw..!!!!!!!

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Jdi bgini yah rasanya...
Hurt..

Haven't been here for so long, and now I'm here..
Wanna go there, not here...

Take me there.. Once again..
And I'll try my best to not go back here again....

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Senaaaaaang..... Ktemu anggy yg notabene knal dri jaman SMP dri skolah yg beda..
Gmn caranya bs knal?
He eh... Scara sbg anak SMP yg eksis kliaran di PS (najis) ktemu lah ma anggy yg ternyata ngumpul jga ma anak2 brit PS.. Yg lucunya, dlu tuh dy yg paling kecil.. Jadi adeknya anak2... Hehehe .. Eh pas ktemu dy balik dr US, astagaaa.. She is a woman now, not a lil girl anymore...!!!
Aiiiih...lsg deh maen k rmhnya, trus nginep.... Girls nite out...!!!! Trus malas2an ampe jam sgini.... It's amazing how the world could make people change...
Pgnnya nginep ampe minggu, tpi... Boleh ga ya ma my parents?
We'll see later gmn klanjutannya...

It was a wonderful friday.. Well..
Last but not least...

<B> HAPPY SATURDAY </b>

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Waaaah.... Ujaaaan.... Tiba2 feeling so romantic... And... Decided to sleep..

Eh eh.. Kbelet pipissss... Masuk kamar mandi dan ternyata.... Wew... I forgot to flush my toilet... Damnnn.... E'e msh ngambang dsana... Kira2 udh satu jam lah.... Sumpah ngrasa bego binti idiot bnerrr... Nyeeeeeeeh.... Ngapa yah makin lama makin bego... Skippppp mulu....
Hehhehhehe.... Sketika my craving for romance menghilang, tergantikan oleh self-pity.. Mengapa oh mengapa.... Gw hrus lupa ngeflush, pdhl gw yakin bgt tdi gw cebok, pake sabun pulaaa (ahay penting gaseeeee??!)
Dan untungnya sleepy feelingnya ga ilang gara2 liat tokai yg sudah mengembang mengambang di lobang wc.... Pheeeeew....
Mkin ngrasa frik bgt deeeehh...
Apakah gw udah mulai mencapai tingkat krezi yg parah???

He eh.. Like I care.. Bodo.. Udh ah mw tidur... Romantic feeling hw udh sisa 11% ... Mmmh... 89% nya self-pity.. Hohohoho..

Catcha later...
*smooch*

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Luckily mood-swing bein nice on me.. Just feel a bit tired bcos of endless tasks and assigments.. But I got thru nicely.. Pfiuuuh..
And as for tonite.. Mmmh... Feel so sleepy but I'm still hoping to hear a fairytale bfore I fly into unconsciousness...
Wish me a very good luck for tomorrow..
I wanna have a luvly day, and it'll cost so much luck..
Do pray for me, fella..

I really need to shut down my brain for a while...

Enuff for tonite..
Nite2 everyone..
Tha2..

Luv u all .. (Haha.. I lied..!!)

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Ive crossed the deserts for miles
Swam water for time
Searching places to find
A piece of something to call mine (Im comin, Im comin)
A piece of something to call mine (Im comin comin closer to you)

Ran along many moors
Walked through many doors
The place where I wanna be
Is the place I can call mine (Im comin, Im comin)
Is the place I can call mine (Im comin comin closer to you)

Chorus
Im movin, Im comin
Can you hear what I hear?
Its calling you my dear out of reach
(take me to my beach)
I can hear it calling you
Im comin not drowning, swimming closer to you

Never been here before
Im intrigued, Im unsure
Im searching for more
Ive got something thats all mine (got something thats all mine)
Ive got something thats all mine (got something thats all mine)

Take me somewhere I can breathe
Ive got so much to see
This is where I want to be
In a place I can call mine (call mine)
In a place I can call mine (call mine)

Chorus
Im movin, Im comin
Can you hear what I hear?
Its calling you my dear out of reach
(take me to my beach)
I can hear it calling you
Im comin not drowning, swimming closer to you

Movin, comin, can you hear what I hear? (hear it out of reach)
I hear it calling you
Swimming closer to you

Many faces I have seen
Many places I have been
Walked the deserts, swam the shores (coming closer to you)
Many faces I have known
Many ways in which Ive grown
Movin closer on my own (coming closer to you)

Im movin, I feel it
Im comin, not drowning
Im movin, I feel it
Im comin, not drowning

I dunno why..
Some parts of me demand me to be egoist..
But I can't..
There r many people that I cared so much..
But I'm overloading my capacity..
I need help
I want someone to understand and rescue me..
Hug, kiss, talking all nite long.. Wutever..
I wanna love myself.. But I can't .. I'm loving someone more than I love myself..
Is it wrong?
I feel myself rotten from inside..
It's killing me....
Damn... It's killing me..
Wut am I supposed to do?

Help me,love..
Only u..

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La la la...

This is my shitty nite...........

Couple drinks and I'm drunk... Uh uh..
Some1 still up tonite..??

Let's have a shitty talk.. Really wanna have a dumb chitchat..

Anyone...???
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Pertanyaan :
1. Slap sapa?
2. Knp slap?

Jawaban :
1. Slap my brother's face
2. Knp? Krn klo slap itu brasa lebih perih terus nimbulin bekas yg oke.. Cap tlapak tangan gw.. Klo punch mah biasa.. Haha.. Btw, gw kn cewe.. Mw identikal ahhh... Huehehehehehe...

Udah udah udah..

Ga usah nanya yg macem2...

Males gw jawabnya....

#

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ayooo...dunguuu...

smangat smangat smangat...!!

smoga sbelum akhir minggu ketiga udah beres smuanyaaaaa...

hehe,... apaan sihhh???

tau ahhhhh...... 

mw nulis yg norak2 ja tentang lamount...

kyknya lagi berlimpah ruah nihhhh

Nih... Klo msh kurang jelas ..
Daku tambahkan lagi gambarnya..
Hohohoho...

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Nah..nah..
Cba liat ni huawei esia..
Bentuknya mengikuti kontur muka.. Lebih nyaman klo dpake nelpon..

Bntuk mangap kyk mulut buaya, bisa didiriin jga dgn balance yg bagus..

Hehehe....

Tolong ksh feedback bgmn mnurut lo, huawei terbaru ini..
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After having its turbulences and blackout, finally my BB starts to recover.. Even tho it's very slow,at least it is getting better..
Hopefully it is gonna be back to its normal functions..
And.......
As for my self..
Not recovering at all..
Believe it or not, I still have rage against him.. I need to do a revenge, a very chic and sophisticated revenge, and of course with high intelectuality..
This wound is too hard to heal and to deep to vanish.. It'll leave a mark until forever..

Help me,God..
Forgive for this one..
I can forgive him, but I can't let go all those things that hurt me..

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Super skinny worm wanna cut herself in two..
Thenshe thinks that it will be less cutem
She wants to die by mutilating her self in a chic and sophisticated way,
How..oh..how..??

Tahiiiiiiiiik.... Stressssss bgt gw..

Apa kbr irma?
Kabar baaaaaa(b)iiiiiiiiiiiikk...!!!!

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ko potonya brantakan yahhh???

biarlah... pusing jga ngaturnya..
yg pnting ternyata ktemeu poto2 keiko di friendster (ooo maiii... FS???!!)

dan gw ud ga gtu sedih lgi...

 

 

  

Gila akh..gila...
Modem laptop error.. Ga bs onlen dr kpn tauuu, trus skrg malm minggu..
Uuuuuffff...... Stelah hari2 minggu2 yg berat dan tentunya tnpa kencan malm minggu, spertinya gw butuuuuuh bgt kencan malm ini... Or at least.. A social hangout..
Yes, I depressed...!!!!!!
So ffffffckin depressed...!!!!!!

I need a refreshing... And suddenly I feel alone...
Have no friends.. Where r u guys when I need u???
Don't just being here when u needed me... Aaakhhh... Taiik lo smua...
Sebel gw...

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At last...
As "pink-orange" has always been my obsession..
I got this fffckin cute pink-orange stripped cardigan (or capuchon? Or hoodie? Or jacket? Ah wutever) ..
I bought it like 3 or 4 days ago (ehm..maybe 2 days ago?? Dunno) and just keep on searching an opportunity to wear it.. Since I've been on a social hangout degradation, so, no reason for me to where it bcos I'm goin nowhere..!!
Tonite... At last!!
Yayyy... Even it's not for a hangout, I'm glad enuff to wear it, even I only stay in the car..
Mmh.. Well, she's not a virgin anymore, cos I already wore it..!
And I'm not gonna lend it to anyone.. Is it clear? No one can ever borrow her..

That's it.. And why I refer my pink-orange stripped cardigan (or capuchon? Or hoodie? Or jacket? Or wutever) as she..?? Bcos... Mmh... Ummm... Errrr...
Bye..

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Nyeheeeee...
Gr2 kcentilan pgn ganti suasana blog, eh eh eh... Yg ada poto, quotes, puisi smua ilaaaaaaaang...
Setaaaaaan...!!!!!
Sialaaaaaan...!!!!!

Ugh... Yg pling menyesakkan.. Ada poto gw ma keiko,pas lg d anyer..
Dan ternyata ga ada backup nyaaa..... Benciiiiiiiiii gw benciiiiiiiiiiiii
Emosiiiiiiiiii
Sediiiiiiiih.....
Mw nangissssssss..... Tu best pose nya keiko bgt :(
Tuuh.... Jd kangeeeeeen....
Klo dlu pas bln puasa gini, dy udh nunggu di pintu ruang tamu, pas azan ikutan buka puasa.. Wlpn makanannya beda..
Qta makan kolak,dy mkn pedigree..
Aduuuuuuuuuh......
Kangen keikoooooooo......
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"Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny."
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@mom's room @mom's bed

Being patheticly disgusting...
I'm thinking about love.. Errrrr...
Passion, to be exact..
I missed being full of passion..
I need intimacy
I need romance
I need those kinds of ffckin lame things..
not a big problem since I have a boyfriend.. Rite?
But it seems like my bf kinda losin his passion.. Or maybe there're more important things than those ffckin lame things?
Aah.. Dunno..
but I feel bitter..!!!!
Damn...................

Well... Ffck..
Confused.. Should sleep now..

Tha"

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Gak bangun sahur, krn badan demam.. Untung lg tidur ma nyokap, jdi stidaknya ad yg nyadar klo gw demam.. Nyokap yg nyuru gw ga ush bgn sahur, ktnya pagi aja makannya, dy mw bikinin telor 1/2 mateng...
Paginya...??
Sarapan juga engga... Krn ni bdn krasa makin ga enak... Tpi toh wlpn sakit, tetep hrs usaha ga dirasain kn..?
Akhirnya sore2, udh enakan ni bdn trus abis magrib lsg buka laptop ngerjain laporan keuangan...
Tiba2 ngerasa kyk sakit lgi.. Mata ngeblur, pala puyeng, perut mual..
Bru nyadar pas jam 11an malm apa sebab dr smua itu... Gw ternyata seharian blm makan... Maaakkkk... Goblok bgt gw jdi manusia.. Makan aja ampe lupa.. Sgini beratnya yah ampe lupa ma urusan perut?
Well... Tpi bersyukurlah udh ada nasi plus sayur bayam plus sayap ayam goreng tepung yg msuk ke perut gw, and yg lebih asik lagi...
Mama tersayang yg nyuapin... Hehehe...
Rasanya lsg tenaaaaaaang bgt...
Mama mama... Knp sih slalu bsa bkin irma lupa ma smua beban dan masalah yg ada cma dgn brada di deket irma?
Mmmh... Udah ah critanya... Mw tidur, cos I really need a gawddamn gud rest.. Bsk kudu kerja, and skrg udah ga sabar mw tidur lgi di sbelah mama...

Nite2, fella...
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Aaah... Siaullll...
Malem ni jam sgini msh blm ngantuk...
Pdhl 2 minggu blakangan ni, slalu tidur jam 7an trus bgn jam 9 or 10an trus tidur lgi jam 11an ampe pagi menjelang..
Or pas puasa, yah bgn sahur bntar lsg tidur lgi ampe pagi..
Tapiii... Ngapa ni skrg blm ngantuka2 juga???!!!!
Drtd jga blm tidurrrr... Aaaargh..... Fffffffck... Gw pgn bobo... Ndak mau bgadangan...
Nanti kuyus..
Btw just for info, 45 skrg kmbali menjadi obsesi gw.. Krn gw skrg 37.. Omajoooooodh... Macam ikan asin bulu ayam body gw skrg...
Udh bkn lg skinny worm (nickname dr sonjed) tpi udh jadi super skinny worm.. Ugh...

Gmn yah caranya ndud lagi..??
My cute ass started to lose its cute-ness.. Damn damn damn....!!!!!! #
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Tough day today.. So fffffckin hard day..
Di kantor ga beres, puasa batal gara2 nangis plus emosi..
Dtambah lgi dimaki-maki ma kakak..
Heran gw ma kakak gw yg satu itu..
Ada apa2 ngamuk, teriak2, ya apalah kyk kesetanan.. Seolah2 org yg diajak ngomong tu sampah...
Dan sialnya hari ini yg jadi sampah dimuka dy itu gw..
Emang gw tuh siapa??? Gw adeknyaaaa...!!!!!! Hey brother, wake up!!,
Beda umur kita tuh 9 tahun..
Gw cewek lo cowok...
Bsa kn pke cara laen untuk negur atw apa gt?
Toh ksalahan bukan di gw kok.. Knp hrs gw yg di sampah2in...??? Sediiiiiiih kak... Sakit ni hatiiiii....
kecewa...kecewa..kecewa...
Gw udh ngerasa enuff bgt buat hri ini, cukup cukup dan CUKUP...!!!!!

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Damned me..
The hardest thing to resist is not to eat or drink.. Or smoking (yea, maybe a bit hard) but....
The hardest thing is not to get tempered and yelled and got mad and cursed... Ow ow.. The last is the most often thing I do..
I cursed and I cursed and I cursed..!!! Cursing with dirty and filthy words..

Oh dear God, please help me...
Teach me how to curse like a lady..
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skian lama lupa ma nih blog, yg dulunya gw commit as the only one who wont give any judgement on my life...
ternyata terlupakan juga...
yah.. manusia namanya juga...

well anyway........
so much things happenned until i think i started to be normal...
mmh... i'll try to write more often.. not to tell u about my life, just for a reminder to myself in case i have somekind of amnesia of skip syndrome... hehehe...

that's all...

mmh... one thing ...

ga bsa yah blogger dri BB ???
ribet kan jadinya klo hrus buka web nya muluuu.....

argh..
another nu job, another busy hours.. but still.. the same old fvckin annoying people..
wut's with being commited sih?
is it so hard to hold on a commitment?
so why they have to make one?
why?
it's became so fvkin meaningless, all those times, energy, devotion.. bcos in the end, i mean now, everything that i've done seems so worthless..
trying to make everyone happy, and in return they put me into sucha endless misery..

tahixxx... tahixxx...

im workin as an isolator..

paan sigh tugh??

jdi kerjaan ku meng-isolate orang yg emang butuh kesendirian dan ketenangan...
kesendirian disini bkn berarti bener2 sendiri, bisa juga dikelilingi orang tapi yg ga dikenal.

cara isolate org macem2..

ada yg dikurung di kamar (normal nya rata2 kbykn org)
ada di genteng or balkon
di perpustakaan
or....... dmn2...!!!!!!!!!

it's a challenging job, and it's fun especially when the person refused to be isolated.
but it's my task, my job and my income source.. so.. i gotta do it without having any pity...

hihihihi...

i am a cold-blooded isolator

hehe.. ive always hated weekends.. but u know what? the strange thing now is..
i learned to like weekend.. mmh... to exact is im tryin to be happy on weekend.

u see, lamount came up wit the term "hppy saturday".. every early saturday, he always texting me or saying "hppy saturday, darl".
at first i fet like wanna ppuke all over the floor..
but through time, im gettin used of that words.

hehe.. and now i just cant wait for weekend, just to hear those words.
hehehe... i know it's lame.

but dont worry, everything between us is always two ways.
i learned to like weekends, and he learned to LOVE monday... just like i do...

mmh.... the fact of me loving monday is way more strange and lame than waiting saturday to come, aite???

hehe...

happy saturday, fella

me and lamount...

hubungan yang aneh...

we're connected in a weird way..
freakily, terkadang qta punya lompatan pikiran yang sama.
or...
apa yah?
sering bgt tiba2 ngucapin kata yg sama saat lgi bengong. atau lgi ngomongin hal yg ga ada hubungannya ma kata yg kita ucapin.
and so many dumbily stupid things we did..


entah mw nulis apa..
enak aja gitu, di tengah tuntutan lingkungan sosial gw yg mengharuskan gw menjadi apa yg mereka harapkan, trus saat dideket lamount gw bisa bener2 jadi diri gw apa adanya..
being dumb, being ugly, bein idiot, bein loon.. yea... u name it lah... i can be wutever, and he still think im great and fantastic..
hihihi...
sbenernya yg dungu gw atau dia sih?

hihihihihihi
taetaetaetae
huhuhuhuhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

ga bisa tidur!!!!
bingung mw ngapain
roko abis, duit ga punya, mw tidur ga bisa, mw ngemil ga ad makanan..
hiahahahaha... sumpah...sial bgt nih...

hppy monday udah lewat, skrg udah selasa, aaargh... mulailah bad luck menghampiri saya...

knp yak, bad luck + kesengsaraan idup pada doyan bgt nyamperin gw?
kbanyakan dosa kah????

wkwkwk...
sapa sih yg ga suka daydreaming.. emg udh sifat dasar gw yg full of imagination, tiap ga ada kerjaan pasti daydreaming.. hahaha.. emg salah yah? engga kan?
cuma eh cuma... lama2 ko jdi agak sulit ngebedainnya yah?
hihi.. emg dasar gw dungu aj... mulai berdelusi...
pas udh nyadar, eh,,,,, needs nya nambah.
aah.. another thing that should written on my list (entah to do list, shopping list, vacation destination list..yea..wutever lah)
jadi bingung kan..
actually, im trying hard to find the real meaning and differences of need and want in a very practical and realistic way.
tapi susah bgt loh...
kadang something that i want berubah jadi (seolah-olah) something that i need, nope, salah, something i really (really!) need.
huehehehe...

my brother used to say "hey, stop daydreaming.. tambah gila ntar..!"

as usual, i never stop, i cant stop...
daydreaming is my inspiration's trigger.. and also conflict's trigger.
but i like bein in such situation...
even now..
when im crashed,...

just smile, and pretending everything is okay, and start another dumb time and daydreaming..

mmhhh...
that's it for now.

tha"

jdi gini yah rasanya...

ribet bikin susu, ribet bikin promina...
ribet ngediemin klo nangis
ribet nemenin maen
ribet nge-nina boboin

ribet ribet ribet...
but i luv ribetness...
hahaha.....
jadi walaupun capek, ribet, bikin pusing, tetep aja.... ga bs ninggalin abel lama2, jd males pergi lama2, krn bawaannya kangeeeeeeeeen muluuuuu....

luv u, abel... my baby...

udah lama banget ga nulis yah, entah ga ada waktu atau emang ga mood atau apa lah...
setelah sekian lama ini, banyak bgt yang terjadi.. ga bs nyebutin satu persatu juga, tapi yah balance lah antara good things ma bad things nya..

so... to be honest, this started to feel like my 2nd home... tapi this is emang my 2nd home...
i like it (really..!!!) ..

ya udah lah... bingung mo nulis apa lagi..

just wanna let u all know, i am fine, and still alive til now.
(if u'r hoping that im dead, yea..u can ffck urself!!)

tha"