standing in the dimness [again!]

listening to media distorsi yg confession part 2...
ahayyyy.... makin kelam aja... ga tau knapa.. ko tiba2 pas nyadar lgi duduk di pojokan in my bedroom under meja blajar wit my light turned off....
gelap, di pojok, listening to that fckin depressing song.... oohhh.... ffckkkkk....

knowing the truth, truth that hardly i can accept... yea... one fact... my life now is soooo... messy.. fcked up,... dunno why... dunno how... even i dunno when it started,, u know... i have no clue at all...
help me please...
bein a screwed up alcoholic... fffffffccccck........
cant even spend a nite witout gettin alcoholized.
this is my worst degradation.
im a loner.. but not lonely, i have a loyal companion. beer it is.
hhhahaha.... so lame....
actually, feeling like i hav sum1, but feeling alone at the same time..
like i hav sum1 to rely on. but hav 2 b independent at the same time.
absurd.