ada apa antara 45,buncit dan cacing kremi?

ketika aku mencoba menulis (kembali)

2011-10-22T14:52:00.000+07:00

setelah sekian lama.
sulitnya untuk memulai (kembali).
menuliskan apa yang ada dalam benak, atau menulis tentang sesuatu yang berguna. Entah bagimu atau bagiku atau mungkin bagi mereka.
sekarang aku mencoba (kembali).
rasanya itu seperti .... hmmm .... belajar berjalan? ah.. aku tak pernah ingat bagaimana rasanya saat belajar berjalan.
atau seperti ... patah hati? bukaaaan... bukan seperti itu rasanya...
rasanya mungkin lebih mirip seperti saat pergi ke suatu tempat baru bersama teman-teman lalu tak sengaja terpisah dari mereka lalu tersesat. Campuran antara panik (tapi aku tidak mrasa panik skrg), takut (hmm..sdikit), bingung (perasaan ini yg dominan saat ini) dan apalagi ya? ah, entahlah...
ya sudah .. setidaknya sudah ada satu tulisan yang berhasil kutulis. i'm doing my baby step.
one two.. one two.. smoga sebentar lagi ada hujan inspirasi, atau tiba-tiba jariku menolak untuk bersentuhan dengan keypad blackberry-ku dan lebih memilih untuk bermain dengan keyboard ini.
doakan saja.. karena aku amat sangat rindu menulis :)

fakta busuk !

2011-09-07T11:41:00.002+07:00

judulnya norak. tapi gue ga peduli.

suka'' gue yah, mau ngasih judul apa or mau nulis apa.

tapi seriusan ini masalah fakta.

some people won't understand. ngeliat kemarin'' saat hidup gue (kata orang'') amat sangat berantakan dan tidak terarah, ga punya tujuan hidup, begajulan, liar, dll dsb. Tapi kenapa ya disaat itu malah gue yang punya kerjaan yang bagus, berdaging cukup (i means gemuk :p) and everyhing seems so wonderful.

i spent almost everyday on alco and chems. but my life was great putting aside my lovelife ya tentunya, ahahhahahaaa...

so now... back to being like 'that' again...... u know with all those shitty things back to my life again. i try to hide this from some people. but.................. soon they will know. but i dont care.

who the ffck they are to tell me how to life?

and again.... i dont need any stupid narrow minded people to give me any judgement.

accept it, gue itu hebat. despite of every my intolerable habits, im a hell awesome woman (or girl??? ah,, ffck that)

jadi gini ya point nya.... biingung gue drtd kok nulis muter'' ga jelas kayak apaan tau.

well, everyone need their pumper. some good some bad. walaupun yang baik dan buruk itu purely subjektif.

now tell me... if i use somekinds of substances to pump up my mood and creativity and in the end it gives me an outstanding achievement, then ... is bad? is it wrong? will you say that im guilty? naah... i dont give a ffck, no i won't and i'll never give a single damn about your opinions.

try to see thing from the other side. up, down, left, right. whatever. try not to be bound of others' norms and point of view.

try to live like me. really.... try it. you'll see. that me, that u called a spoiled brat, one day will make you bend on your knees and beg beg beg to dear God, ask Him and plead to Him to make you be just like me. ahaha. sampah yak. bodo. emang gue peduli.

fakta busuk !

2011-09-07T11:41:00.001+07:00

judulnya norak. tapi gue ga peduli.

suka'' gue yah, mau ngasih judul apa or mau nulis apa.

tapi seriusan ini masalah fakta.

i spent almost everyday on alco and chems. but my life was great putting aside my lovelife ya tentunya, ahahhahahaaa...

who the ffck they are to tell me how to life?

and again.... i dont need any stupid narrow minded people to give me any judgement.

accept it, gue itu hebat. despite of every my intolerable habits, im a hell awesome woman (or girl??? ah,, ffck that)

jadi gini ya point nya.... biingung gue drtd kok nulis muter'' ga jelas kayak apaan tau.

well, everyone need their pumper. some good some bad. walaupun yang baik dan buruk itu purely subjektif.

try to see thing from the other side. up, down, left, right. whatever. try not to be bound of others' norms and point of view.

fakta busuk !

2011-09-07T11:41:00.000+07:00

judulnya norak. tapi gue ga peduli.

suka'' gue yah, mau ngasih judul apa or mau nulis apa.

tapi seriusan ini masalah fakta.

i spent almost everyday on alco and chems. but my life was great putting aside my lovelife ya tentunya, ahahhahahaaa...

who the ffck they are to tell me how to life?

and again.... i dont need any stupid narrow minded people to give me any judgement.

accept it, gue itu hebat. despite of every my intolerable habits, im a hell awesome woman (or girl??? ah,, ffck that)

jadi gini ya point nya.... biingung gue drtd kok nulis muter'' ga jelas kayak apaan tau.

well, everyone need their pumper. some good some bad. walaupun yang baik dan buruk itu purely subjektif.

try to see thing from the other side. up, down, left, right. whatever. try not to be bound of others' norms and point of view.

we need a resolution

2010-04-28T11:24:00.000+07:00

You give me bits and pieces
you tryna blame me when I don't even know the reason
I think It's Just the season,
maybe the month,
maybe the building
Now tell me what's the reason?
Stupid yo?
Looks are deceiving
so,cut the the crying,
cut the coughing,
cut the wheezing,Boy
Quit the blaming,
cut the naming,
cut the sleeping,Boy
I think you need some prayer,
Better call the deacon,Boy,
so, get your act right, Boy
or else we won't be speaking, Boy
so,what's it gonna be?
Freaky Freaky ...me and you?
or is it gonna be who blames who?
I'm tired of these things,
I'm tired of these scars
I'm think I'm gonna get me a drink,
I'll call you tomorrow

*quoted from aaliyah's we need a resolution, with little modification*

so, Boy .. do we need a resolution...??

aku jatuh cinta pada kata - kata mu

2010-04-27T10:16:00.000+07:00

terpana..
apa yang salah disini?
mengapa aku merasa seperti ini?

mengapa setiap kata - kata yang kau tuliskan membuat perasaan - perasaan aneh itu muncul.
aku tidak tau apa sebabnya
mengapa gerombolan perasaan itu mendatangiku
mereka datang berbondong - bondong dan tak satupun dari mereka yang aku kenali.
siapa mereka?
ku rasa aku cukup melimpah dengan berbagai macam perasaan,
benci? kasih? malu? keberanian? semua ku miliki.
bahkan bimbang, ragu, gundah pun ku punya.

tetapi ..
saat gerombolan perasaan itu mendekapku, semua terasa berbeda
ku merasa hilang sekaligus seperti terlahir kembali

ku menikmati sensasi itu, walaupun rasa takut senantiasa mendampingi.

apa yang kau lakukan?
mengapa kalimat demi kalimat yang kau rangkai, kata demi kata yang kau untai, huruf demi huruf yang kau bingkai membuat ku merasa seperti ini?
apakah memang mereka mampu berbuat seperti itu atau kah karena mereka dilahirkan olehmu?

tolong aku.. jangan biarkan mereka pergi
tetapi jaga aku jangan sampai mengenal mereka...
biarkan mereka menjadi perasaan asing bagi ku.

tolonglah..
aku jatuh cinta pada mereka ..
huruf - huruf yang kau bingkai
kata - kata yang kau untai
kalimat - kalimat yang kau rangkai

aku jatuh cinta pada apa yang kau tulis..

goldfish and paracetamol

2010-04-08T11:45:00.000+07:00

A dead loss, no songs
No fun, just glum
Lying next to someone
Don't mention the War
So don't question where we stand
Or where we fall
North, South, East where's best
If I head left
It turns out directionless
And needle point aside
I always find
Embroidery leaves me blind
'Cos I'm not too weary to rest
Since I noticed
Coming second best is close to ideal
What fools boredom breeds
So much to do
So many goldfish to feed
And paracetamol
I take them all
They line my stomach wall
With customary thirst
I search a water glass
But gin hits first
Oh don't believe the hype
Expectancy will always spoil a party
It's tourniquet by crochet
My waters break
Don't drive for pity's sake
'Cos I'm to weary to rest
Since I noticed
Coming second best
Is close to ideal

-catatonia-

juxtaposed

2010-03-31T06:32:00.000+07:00

This is a tale of two situationsMutual appreciationAway from narrow preconceptionAvoiding conflict hypertensionNon-phobic word aerobicThis was my domain'Til someone stole my name

You've got to tolerateAll those people that you hateI'm not in love with youBut I won't hold that against you ...

Skipalong ..

2010-03-28T09:26:00.001+07:00

So tired of feeling blue such a heavy weight on youSo shake it off and make your wayTo somewhere different, to somewhere differentOh now you're leaving me, oh what will you do?All alone in the big bad world but I'm not worried, no'Cause you're gonna skip along quite merrily babyYou're gonna revel in hating what's going onAnd you're like a sugar bomb and no harm will comeNo harm will come if you just skip alongActing oblivious comes natural to usKeep smiling knowing all the while the world will fall apartThe world will fall apartSo we're gonna skip along quite merrily babyWe're gonna revel in hating what's going onAnd you're like a sugar bomb and no harm will comeNo harm will come if we just skip alongWouldn't it be lovely to be home, home?Safe and sound with no one roundTo bring us down but that's so far awaySo I'm gonna skip along quite merrily babyI'm gonna revel in hating and what's going onAnd I'm like a sugar bomb and no harm will comeNo harm will come if I just skip alongYeah, we're gonna skip along quite merrily babyWe're gonna revel in hating what's going onAnd you're like a sugar bomb, bomb, bomb and no harm will comeNo harm will come if we just skip alongSkip along, skip alongNo harm will come if we just skip along
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even GOD hear my prayer

2010-03-15T11:51:00.001+07:00

This was started on Saturday..

rutinitas seperti biasa, bangun tidur then siap2 brkt ke kantor.
di kantor pun tidak ada sesuatu yg spesial, bekerja seperti biasa.
Interview para kandidat, bikin summary, dll.
dan ada yg agak spesial sih, entah kenapa tiba-tiba keinget East 17 dan gue download lah lagunyaaa.... seneeeeeeng bgt pas pertama kali dengerin tu laguu...
tiba-tiba yang whooossssh-whoooooosh... snapped here and snapped there,,,,
hehe.. berlebihan banget ga sih?
tapi sumpah ya.. kangen bgt tu lagu.. ampe diputer berulang-ulang tu lagu ampe gue 1/2 hapal matiii..
oke... enough about the song...
slanjutnya critanya gue mw blanja beberapa hal.. eymmm... obat kutu nya si abel trus baju batik (ya secara udh hampir dua bulan gue kerja, and stiap jumat slalu pake batik yang samaaaa!!!) errr...

trus batal lah smua rencana itu, karena ardi ngajak ke rmh willy, yg notabene abis wisuda and bikin selametan dirumahnya...
oke... dari kampung mlayu mluncur ke otista terusssss ke beji depok.. wakwawww jauuuu jugaaaa yaaa... gosong deh dengkul betis dan lain2nya... fanaaaaasssh coyy!!

Gurihnya jln siang-siang sambil ngerasain klaperan,, kroncong kroncong...
nah pas dket2 setu babakan, tiba2 si ardi bilang "waah.... empal gentong"
eitssssssss....weideminit... Empal gentong??!!!
stop, puter balikkk masssssssss....... aku mau makan empal gentong!!!!
wewww... gila deh... udah skitar 5 thn or lebih mengidam empal gentong yang di kantin Alz, tiba2 ktemu ga sengaja??
well... hayo makannn...
enak juga ternyataaaa!!! alhamdulillah,,,,

lanjut lagi melaju mnuju rumah willy...
ardi nanya " seneng ga kamu?"
gue jawab " iyaaa, seneeeeeng bangeeettt... alhamdulillah ya Allah"

trus gue berdoa " Ya Allah, makasih ya empal gentongnya, sudah 5 thn aku mengidam, sekarang tinggal kembang tahu nya.. alhamdulillah, makasih Ya Allah"

kata ardi "emang manusia ya..ga prnh puas.. ada empal gentong skrg kembang tahu. udh gitu kok doanya gitu 'tinggal kembang tahu nya' ? kyk udh pasti ajaaaa!! mestinya bilang smoga ada kembang tahu, gitu"
gue jawab "yaaa... biarin !! yang penting yakin ajaaaaaaa"
dalem hati tetep ngebayangin kembang tahu tiada henti, bukannya ga bersyukur, tapi namanya kpengen trus doyan.. gmn dunk?hehehehe....

nyampe rmh willy yg ternyata rame bgt ma sodara2nya...
nungguin uban yg ternyata dateng ma ceweknya,,,
ngobrol2 duduk ngemil2 ktawa2 di jln dpn rmhnya dibawah pohon.. trusss

ardi : "irma!!!"

kaget gue, eh tau2 nya .... ada abang kembang tahu!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

oh my ffffffckin GOD (ehhh,,,,,, oh my Dearest GOD!!!!)

shocked!!!!! gue shocked, kaget, dll dsb...

ardi pun mukanya lucuuuuuuuuuuuuuu bangetttttttttttttttttttttt...

ahahahahhaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa....

"alhamdulillah ya Allah... kembang tahu ku!!!!!"
gue lsg minta mangkok................
jadi lah makan kembang tahu yang nikmaaaaaaaaat bangettt...

and believe it or not. doa gue dikabulin dalam rentang kurang dari sejam...

hehehe...

sulit dipercaya bukan.. but it was damn real...

all u have to do is HAVE FAITH....

tha2

And you..

2010-03-15T00:03:00.001+07:00

Completely make me ... Speechless..

Those eyes..
That smile..
Those ugly faces u did..

Makes me feel like wanna hug u forever..
Makes me feel like giving up everything to make u happy..
Makes me feel like I am so worthy and precious..

You make me feel always in love..
Until now..

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each time by east 17

2010-03-13T09:07:00.000+07:00

Have you heard of the saying
For those who were playing
You don't know what you got till its gone

Well that was my calling
I knew what I was falling into
something that would be so wrong

But I got hold of myself
And changed for the better
I can't get you out of my mind
Cause something inside
made me realize you were fine

Chorus:
Each time we were alone
I guess I didn't know
How far we were apart
Should have spoken from heart
I guess I didn't know
That each time you go away,I cry
I can't take all these goodbyes

I know from this feeling
Deep inside there's a healing
I know that i'm in control

Everyday I am yearning
This love I feel burning
Burning right through my soul

So let's make a start
Of something that cannot be broken
The mold its so strong

Treat this love as a child
That grows into something worth while

Chorus

Deep love's so deep
Deep love's so deep, yea
I can't take all these goodbyes

Faithfully, I will be
You will see, please believe me
I can't take all these goodbyes

Chorus

All the time we were alone
Guess I should have really known
Baby you have always been mine
All the time we were alone
Guess I should have really known
Baby you have always been mine

just realized..

2010-03-09T17:30:00.000+07:00

Efek intisari ini membuat sdikit repot..
Dengan jumping thoughts yang mnjadi berlipat ganda membuat ku ingin menumpahkan semuanya..
Tpi blurred sight dan jempol tgn yang krg bsa diajak kerja sama, membuat rencana penumpahan ini jadi smakin berat..

Btw,stlh dpikir2 dalam usia segini pasti byk yg udh dpt kerjaan yang mantap..

Well.. Suddenly losing my jumping thoughts..
I wonder why..
And I can't continue writing..

Enuff for now :)
Tha2

Hati hati..

2010-02-28T23:21:00.001+07:00

Inget Tuhan itu ada
Tuhan itu nyata..

Kalaupun kalian tak percaya Tuhan, ingatlah kalau Alam memegang kendali.

Hidup ini balance..
Segala sesuatu selalu berpasangan

Dalam setiap perbuatan ada ganjaran nya.

Apalah gunanya memperbincangkan hal2 yg tidak berguna?
Yang malah menambah dosa?
Yang malah melapangkan jalan bagi kesusahan?
Yang malah membuat kalian semakin bodoh?

Orang bilang
"hidup adalah pembelajaran"

Seharusnya hal itu membuat kita berpikir..

Mungkin saat kehidupan dibuat susah, kita diajarkan untuk menjadi kuat.

Mungkin saat melihat hidup orang susah, kita diberi kesempatan untuk berbuat baik.

Yakinlah setiap perbuatan akan memberikan hasil di masa depan..

Tiada orang bijak yang lahir dri kehidupan yang mudah..
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MenStrUaSsSsseeeHHH

2010-02-27T21:14:00.001+07:00

Help help..

Ya ampuuun.. Tumbenan deh period kali ini banyak keluhan dan penderitaan..

Yg paling menyiksa adalah pegal2 dari paha ampe ujung jempol kaki.. Awwww...

Sumpyaaaahhh!!! Sampyaaaaah bgt nekh rasanyaaaa...

Adu duuu mamaaaaa...
Cariin tukang pijett, mrana putri mu iniiiiikh..

Niii nyamuuuk juga udh kayak kucing (not kyk anjing cos I luv dogs!!) .. Maen nemplok nemplok ngisep darahh tanpa permisi bikin bentol tanpa rasa bersalah..

Pegellll...
Eh eh eh.. Waideminit.. Kok? Kok perut krasa kraaaaam..??!!!
Errrrgh.. Kamfretttts..

Oh lord.. This is not the kind of saturday nite that I've expected,.
Be nice,pleaseeeeee.....

*cry cry*

Ah..crappy craps .. Shitty shits ..

Period is suxxxxxxxssss !!!!!!!!!
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another saturday

2010-02-27T05:03:00.000+07:00

tidur yang amat sangat tidak nyenyak tidak membuat ku hilang semangat untuk bekerja, even mood nya sdikit balau tetapi semua itu bisa dihilangkan sedikit demi sedikit ... memutuskan utk drown in pink today, tpi akhirnya cuma pake blouse pink and clana yg ada garis2 pink nya sdikit, hitam tetap mendominasi.. tapi chic lahhhhh..

tapiiiii sekarang,,,,,,,,, aaah,,, dear Saturday.. please be nice to me..
jangan jahat jahat yaaaaahhhh

lagi ga ada kapasitas niih,,
gue lemah, gue lemah...

kenapa sih?
gak knapa2..

jangan takut, cuma sebentar kok lemahnya,,, i just need a bit comfort, and i will soon back to the tough me...

believe it or not.. im gonna thru this easily *sigh*

A bit fear

2010-02-26T22:39:00.001+07:00

suddenly makin yakin harus full strength ngadepin bln maret.

Dengan expenses yg akan membengkak bgt dan ga bisa di press krn smua nya bersifat urgensi, dtambah lagi dengan permasalahan lain.

It's not about love thing, tpi nyerempet dikit siih..
Well, after a big cut-off time, skrg bneran hrus memikirkan kmungkinan (yg sudah pasti) utk pisah.
It's damn hard pastinya..
Even tho there's still a commitment that we hold..
Tapi, changing routines and habit itu ga gampang kan?
Wlpn udh byk yg berubah, still it won't be easy.

Actually..I'm afraid..
takut klo nantinya trnyata I'm doin better without him,
takut klo nantinya trnyata I feel more comfortable without him,
takut klo nantinya I don't need him anymore..

Takut..

Konyol memang..

Tapi rasa takut itu wajar bukan..?
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Dan ku bilang...

2010-02-26T20:21:00.001+07:00

Padanya..
"Ya"

Walau kurasa berat mengucapkannya..
Walau ku tahu hatiku tak setuju..
Walau ku harus berbohong..

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stormy mood

2010-02-14T19:08:00.000+07:00

After few decades (ah..please), urmm..few days actually.. My stormy mood ends..
But this is the most dangerous time, the calm after the storm.
Just like reality, storm ruins everything, and after ended.. It will be calm.. Calm like nothing existed..
No life around, messed up nature and fcked up atmosphere..
Well.. Just like me now..
The stormy mood finally ends.. And it leaves me a moodless mood.. A soul-less soul.. A lifeless life.. A hopeless hope.. A sleepless sleep.. A loveless love..
And a mindless mind..

I'm gettin nuts..
Need medic ASAP .. Please.. Before I got hysterical attack

Tha2 for now..

If u have somekind of medical or unmedical cure, please do contact me

syubidupap...

2010-02-03T10:34:00.000+07:00

oh man.. it feels gud...
huehehehehehehhee

ini cuma hari sabtu..

2010-01-09T13:59:00.000+07:00

Setelah hari2 kerja yg melelahkan dan berharap supaya weekend cpt datang (pdhl gw bnci weekend,uh blame the hecticness!!), akhirnya sampailah pada hari sabtu.. And u know what? Weww..biasa aja rasanya malah cnderung membosankan.. Entah krn lack of things to do atw apa.. Tpi sucha lame person bgt yah gw? Ko weekend malah yg doing nothing.. Eymmm... Whatever deh!

Well,btw.. I am craving for a romantic saturday nite..yap dan statement barusan bkin gw sounds waaaaay so lame... Tapi gmn dunk.. Xixixixi.. Tpi ga mgkn juga having a romantic nite, he's not that kind of type..
Anehnya justru his un-romantic-ness makes him so romantic.. Heleeeeh.. Paseee??!!

Oiaaa...jdi ngerasa rude deh.. Skrg di depan gw ada si rina yg notabene tmen smp gw, trus dy gw cuekin aja gitu krn tiba2 gw kpengen nge-blog, walaupun tulisan gw juga yg ga penting and meaningless gitu..
Abisnya emg dr kmaren2 udh kangen bgt mw nulis, tpi dunno what to write..
Mw nulis yg srius tpi otak ga mampu, mw nulis yg ngaco tpi sense of humor gw lgi ga oke and idup spertinya lgi flat2 aja, ga ad momen yg cukup spesial utk diceritain..

Ah..ya udh lah.. Wanna burn a cig dulu..

better and gettin better

2010-01-09T13:38:00.000+07:00

Thank God..

Finally, everything seems better..

I finally found a lil ground to stand..

And being hurt feels not so scary anymore..

No happiness exists without pain,rite?

And it is acceptable now..
That behind every hurt, wounds and pain, my happiness is waiting for me..

come come come

2009-12-10T07:29:00.000+07:00

YesTerday

2009-12-10T07:17:00.000+07:00

It was a tough day for some people..some losing their ways,some losing their dreams,some losing everything.. But what I'm tryin to tell is, maybe they're gone and u can't have them back, but there are still lots of ways,lots of dreams,lots of everything out there waiting for u.. So,don't let urself fall apart and go for the best..cos it is what u deserve

kembali

2009-12-01T13:21:00.000+07:00

Stelah menghilang beberapa saat dri dunia maya (krn ku tak bs menghilang dri dunia nyata) ku kembali.. Entah utk berapa lama..
Smua penat ini seolah menghilang sesaat, lalu brtmbh lgi krn ku menyadari btapa tertinggalnya ak di blkg..
Umm.. Tak apa.. Ak akn brjalan santai saja..

im doing my homework

2009-11-25T08:17:00.000+07:00

And that is unfinishable homework..
Mjdi irma yg slalu brave and strong.. And tough..
Emm.. I wonder, I'm tough enuff and how tougher can I'll be than how tough I am now..?
Weeewh..bingung itu barusan mksdnya gmn?? Kalimatnya brantakan..

bodo amat ah..
Tpi prcaya deh.. I'm doing my homework kok.. Always.. Wlpn kyknya ga akn slese2.. But at least I'm doing it..
Ya ga..
Penting ga..? ENGGA !!!

Hehehehe

nothing compares to u

2009-11-24T13:54:00.000+07:00

It's been seven hours and fifteen days
Since you took your love away
I go out every night and sleep all day
Since you took your love away
Since you been gone I can do whatever I want
I can see whomever I choose
I can eat my dinner in a fancy restaurant
But nothing..
I said nothing can take away these blues
`Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to you
It's been so lonely without you here
Like a bird without a song
Nothing can stop these lonely tears from falling
Tell me baby where did I go wrong
I could put my arms around every boy I see
But they'd only remind me of you
I went to the doctor n'guess what he told me
Guess what he told me
He said girl u better try to have fun
No matter what you'll do
But he's a fool`Cause nothing compares
Nothing compares to you

all the flowers that you planted, mama
In the back yard
All died when you went away
I know that living with you baby was sometimes hard
But I'm willing to give it another try

Nothing compares
Nothing compares to you
Nothing compares
Nothing compares to you
Nothing compares
Nothing compares to you

Where do Broken Hearts Go...?

2009-11-19T10:37:00.000+07:00

I know it's been some time
but there's something on my mind

You see
I haven't been the same since that cold November day.
We said we needed space
but all we found was an empty place

And the only things I learned is that I need you desperately.
So here I am and can you please tell me:

Where do broken hearts go
can they find their way home

Back to the open arms of a love that's waiting there?
And if somebody loves you
won't they always love you?
I look in your eyes and I know that you still care for me.

I've been around enough to know that dreams don't turn to gold

And that there is no easy way
no
you just can't run away.
And what we had was so much more than we ever had before

And no matter how I try
you're always on my mind.
So here I am
and can you please tell me:

Where do broken hearts go
can they find their way home

Back to the open arms of a love that's waiting there?
And if somebody loves you
won't they always love you?
I look in your eyes and I know that you still care for me.

And now that I am here with you I'll never let you go

I look into your eyes
and now I know
now I know:

Where do broken hearts go
can they find their way home

just about love..

2009-11-16T17:22:00.000+07:00

Have you ever been in love? Horrible isn't it?
It makes you so vulnerable.
It opens your chest and it opens your heart and it means that someone can get inside you and mess you up.
You build up these defenses, you build this whole suit of armor, so that nothing can hurt you..
then one stupid person,-no different from any other stupid person-, wanders into your stupid life.
You give them a piece of you.
They didn't ask for it.
They do something dumb one day, like kiss you or smile at you, and then your life isn't your own any more.
Love takes hostages.
It gets inside you.
It eats you out and leaves you crying in the darkness, working its way into your heart.
It hurts.
Not just in the imagination.
not just in the mind.
It's a soul hurt,
a body hurt,
a real gets inside you and rips you apart pain.
I hate love..

love and hate

2009-11-16T12:49:00.000+07:00

Love is a word that is constantly heard,
Hate is a word that is not.
Love, I am told, is more precious than gold.
Love, I have read, is hot.
But Hate is the verb that to me is superb,
And Love but a drug on the mart.
Any kiddie in school can Love like a fool,
But Hating, my boy, is an Art.

e'e deh pokoknya!!

2009-11-11T10:48:00.000+07:00

"Menunggu"
adalah salah satu hal yg..

Mampu membuat seorang irma seketika tidak pduli ktika ambulance lewat..

Mampu membuat irma diam tak bereaksi ktika ada seseorang yg lewat dan meludahkan dahak dgn santainya..

Mampu membuat seorang irma memejamkan matanya dan membungkam suara2 kecil dalam otaknya

Menunggu membuat ku menjadi aneh. Menjadi kuat, atau kebal atau apalah..bingung..
Menunggu sdikit memberikan efek positif pd diriku..
Itu kemarin2..
Sekarang???

Tidaaaaaak...!!!!!!

Mnunggu membuat migren ku kambuh!!!

Mnunggu membuat pandangan ku kabur,sampai ak tdk bisa membedakan antara pink dgn orange!!!

Mnunggu membuat ku membusuk,krn suara2 didalamku semua berubah menjadi belatung yg menggerogotiku dr dalam!!

Mnunggu membuat ku mual, enek, muak, sama sperti ak melihat dahak yang stengah mengering!!

Mnunggu membuat ku merasa mati. Tak berjiwa namun mempunyai nyawa. Tak bersemangat namun ad sdikit hasrat.
sperti mempunyai kaki tpi tidak tau bgmn cara berjalan.
sperti mencintai bulan tpi takut akan gelap malam.

Sperti meminum vodka namun takut mabuk..
Ahahaahhahahahahahha...
Ngaco..gilak..
Buntu ni kpala..
Mw bergerak..mnuju destruktivitas..

Yaaaaaa... Tunggu sayaaaaa...

enuff of being stupid

2009-11-06T21:48:00.000+07:00

I guess this is the time for me to stop being so damn stupid.. But it is still okay being dumb once a while :)

I gave lots of thinking til I decided to stop..
Stop thinking and be more careless..
Decided to not giving a gaddamn shit anymore..

Losing luv is hurts like hell.. But there is more than luv..it is friendship.. And I am giving it away now.

Let it be..
Maybe I am not gud enuff, but I do not deserve to be treated this way..
People have their own "-"s and "+"s , that makes the balance..
But if u are forcing to match the "-" with "-" , it will never work out..

I am glad I am here alone, and having a love that understands me and waits for me..
A love that willing to give time to be alone for me to figure it all..
A love that is not judging,
A love that supports my decision..

And now I come to my own decision, soon to be done..

Walk forward, I might looking back over my shoulder but not for this one..
I will not even take a glance of what had happened behind my back..

I am leaving it all behind..
Enuff of being stupid..
Stop sacrificing myself for something that unworthy..

I have a good love and wonderful family,
What else could I ask for..?

It is nearly perfect..
And,
It is truly enuff for me..

Thank GOD :)

mendungu krn dingin

2009-11-06T17:58:00.000+07:00

Skrg lg d bdg,.
Ku memutuskan untuk berkeliaran k daerah yg ramai..
Krn emg cma niat muter2, ku memakai kaos gombrong dan clana pendek jins yg lumayan pendek plus sndal jepit..
Brkt dgn angkot..tak ad masalah and tak ad acara nyasar..
Sampailah d tmpt tujuan, dan bru terasa pas turun angkot ternyata hawa nya dingiiiin...!!! Aarkh..
Dingin nya makin brasa klo diem..trpaksa hrus jalan terus spy rasa dingin itu sdikit berkurang..
Gak lama perut kroncongan..
Lapaaarrrrr...
Cari makan dgn segera..
Naaah.. Akhirnya dpt tmpt makan, antri, order, bayar and cari tmpt duduk..
Dpt meja lsg duduk.. Wedewww..damn..!! Pas duduk diiiiingiiiiiin bangeeeeeeet!!! Kursinya kursi besi..astagaaah tuhaaan... Lsg sketika menggigil..dan hrus dtahan2 spy ga jd prhatian orang.. Tpi parah trsiksanya, krn hrus makan dan brarti sdikit melakukan "duduk-diam"..
Ahahahaha.. Makin menggigil dtambah lgi mnum cola dingin.. Oooowh... Mrasa beku!!!
Aah.. Hrus kmbali k tempat ku smulaaa... Disana hangatttt... Waduhh... Sialan bandung.. Ressehhh..
Menyebalkan dinginnya..
Tpi skrg ku sdh kmbali brada d tmpt hangat ku.. Santai.. Gulang guling dgn bebas..
Ehehehe.. Salah kostum itu wlpn kliatan spele, tpi bner2 bsa mematikan..pfiuh.. Untung aku selamat...

"save tonite"

2009-11-05T09:59:00.000+07:00

Come n close the curtain..
Cos wut we need is candlelight.
U n me, and a bottle of and hold me tight.
Cos we know,I'm goin away..
N how I wish..
I wished it weren't so
So take this wine, and drink wit me..
Let's delay our misery..

waktu ku tiba..

2009-10-29T16:29:00.000+07:00

Ayo melangkah..
Serpihan harapan dan hati yg terkoyak dan tercecer sdh mulai kembali terkumpul..
Saatnya tiba..
Berlari sejenak, lalu bekerja keras..
Serpihan-serpihan yang telah terkumpul belum terjahit dgn rapih..
Beri aku waktu sebentar, akan kujadikan mereka menjadi harapan dan hati yang baru.

normalitas?

2009-10-27T20:26:00.000+07:00

Apa artinya?
Tlg jelaskan.. Sejujurnya,
aku takut yg aku maknai adalah salah..
Takut salah mengambil kesimpulan..
Takut salah memutuskan patok ukur nya..
Takut salah mengambil langkah..
Takut salah mendengar, berpikir, menulis..

Merasa takut salah..
Inikah normalitas yg normal?
Inikah normalitas versi mu?

Bingung aku akan kata normalitas..
Karena menjadi normal pun ku tak tahu caranya?
Kupikir diriku ini gila, sebuah pikiran yg normal kah?
Atau saat ku merasa diriku gila, disitulah sebernarnya aku menjadi normal..?

Ooh..normalitas..

monday..?

2009-10-26T14:19:00.000+07:00

Senin dibenci hampir oleh smua orang, tpi ak tidak. I luuurve monday..
I believe, gud things always happen on monday..
Bkn brarti senin itu slalu indah, tpi mnurutku, senin tdk akn pernah seburuk hri2 lainnya..
Bkn brarti badai slalu berhenti di hari senin, tpi di hari senin, badai slalu akan mereda menjadi hujan terkadang gerimis terkadang terang benderang dgn matahari..
Kalau ku blg ada pelangi, amat sgt berlebihan jadinya.. Karna udh hmpir bertahun2 ga liat plangi.. Aaaa.. Emg bner plangi sdh jarang terlihat, atau ak nya aja yg not lucky enuff to see it?
Well, btw..
Ga ad kmajuan yg signifikan hari ini.
Ak malah merasa agak byk waktu terbuang untuk mlakukan hal2 yg dungu, tapiii..
I am re-charged..
Kapasitas tahan banting nya sdh bertambah!! I am ready for tomorrow,the day after and so on..
Hari ini memang cukup harsh.. Dgn tough decision that I have to make, dan apalah di pagi hari nya..
Tpi..
It is quite comforting,dgn stelahnya watching dvd with someone who I like to be with.. Having lunch.. Playing with abel si anjing dungu, dan bermalas2an..
Only for today.
Yah..
Besok harus memulai lagi dgn sesuatu yg baru, dan bila tidak terbersit ide akan hal baru. Maka ak akan mengikuti alirannya saja dan membiarkan ku menemukannya tanpa sengaja, dan bila ku tak bisa mengikuti alirannya. Maka ku akan pasrah saja dan membiarkan hal baru itu datang padaku.

biarkan saja..

2009-10-24T17:35:00.000+07:00

Setiap detik, menit, jam bahkan hari berlalu..
Tersadarkan..
Sahabatku adalah diriku sendiri..
Bkn dia.. Atau kamu.. Atau mereka..
Biarkan saja..
Lakukan apa aja yg kalian suka terhadapku, itu hak kalian..
Percaya atau tidak, ku tak akan membalas semua perlakuan kalian yg tidak pantas terhadapku..
Biarkan yang punya kuasa menggelitik sedikit pikiran kalian, dgn caraNya sendiri, yang aku, kamu, dia atau kalian tak akan pernah tau..

kerinduan..

2009-10-21T18:23:00.000+07:00

Sdikit busuk judulnya..
Tpi bnar2 ku mrasakan suatu kerinduan.. Entah terhadap apa atau siapa..
Mungkin kenyamanan..
Atau..
Kesunyian..?
Atau..
Kebebasan..?
Perasaan bebas mungkin..
Tapi dgn segala sesuatu yg menghimpit dan mendesak ku untuk berdiri di pojokan gelap, ada sdikit perasaan bebas yg aku rasa..
Mungkin yg kurindukan adalah sbuah sesuatu-yg-seolah2-jalan-buntu
Mungkin ituuu...
Yaa... Sdikit mrasa yakin itu lah yg aku rindukan...
Atau..
Apalah.. Malas untuk berpikir..
Atau..
Kerinduan akan lepas-dari-smua-aturan?
Sama dgn kebebasan bukan?
Atau..
Kerinduan akan melanggar-sbuah-aturan?
Aah... Spertinya itu salah satu hal yg ku lakukan hampir stiap hari..
Stop.. Enuff..
Cukup..ya..cukup..

@hospital

2009-10-09T22:06:00.001+07:00

Stucked here for 2 days..
Taking care of papa and accompany mama..
Btapa stressful nya hrus terjebak d tmpt para ambulance bersemayam.. But u know wut.. Those fckin ambulances didn't have any single gawddamn effect on me anymore..
Thank u dear GOD for the strength u gave to me..
I'm way more stronger and tougher than before and I believe I can get thru this well..
And for papa, thank u once again dear GOD for giving back my daddy's health.. He's getting better day by day... Can't wait for his coming-back-home day...

Ayo smangaaaaad....!!!!

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Get well soon,papa

2009-10-08T08:19:00.001+07:00

Stelah sbulan lebih sakit, akhirnya papa terpaksa drawat di rumah sakit.. Bkn terpaksa jga sih..tpi slalu ujung2 nya mslh duit.. Oh well.. Beratnya.. Sedih ngeliat tmen2 yg seneng2 brg gw dlu trnyata skrg ga pduli dgn keadaan gw.. Tagih sana tagih sini, pinjem sana pinjem sini.. Pfiiuh... Trnyata yg bntu bkn org2 terdekat gw.. It is so ironic,. Yg ngebantu mlh org yg ga dsangka2.. Thank u, guys.. Really thank u..
Smoga papa cpet sembuh... Dan irma hrus tetep jdi kuat dan sabar...
kesehatan tuh penting bgt, krn trnyata biaya rumah sakit tuh mahaaaaal bgt...!!!!

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Aku masih bisa..

2009-10-04T23:47:00.001+07:00

Apapun itu.. Baik atau buruk.. Aku masih bsa melahap itu smua dengan baik..
And nothing will be different between me and u.. Got that?
Aku adalah rumput liar..
Yg walaupun sdh di injak2 berulang2 kali akan tetap kembali berdiri
Yg walaupun sdh di cabut berulang2 kali akan tetap tumbuh kembali
Ingat bahwa aku tidak selemah itu..
Aku bkn orang yg lemah..
Aku tidak terlahir menjadi lemah
Aku tidak di didik untuk menjadi lemah
Aku bisa, dan akan selalu bisa..

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stood still

2009-10-01T00:06:00.001+07:00

Survived thru this nite..
Prepare for 2morrow..?
Ah..nope.. Just like I said before.. Stop being static..stop thinking what to do next, or wut will happen or wutever..
Just let it happen by itself..
Good or bad the outcome will be, just accept it..
Hard and heart-stabbing sometimes, but time will heal..

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Back to old me..!!! Yaaay

2009-09-30T17:39:00.001+07:00

C'mon.. Smangaaaat irmaaaa..!!!!
Hold urself together and find ur old self.. Get back all those sophisticated way of thinking wit increased skills as a survivor..!!!
Back to old me with stunning character and independency..!

I got lost yesterday, bcos I tried way too hard.. I stop trying now,I stop pushing myself and just let everything happen in natural ways.. Flowing.. And flowing.. And flowing..
And I can sense them,my lost parts, gettin closer to me.. They're coming closer to me.. I can sense them, I can feel them..
I know I'm on a right path now, all I have to do now is to stay on this path.. And soon, everything will back to their places.. I believe that..
I feel somehow relieved..

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Bitter or better?

2009-09-29T20:12:00.001+07:00

I'm sitting here, listening couple of songs that remind me of me and u few decades back, while watching u sleeping and wondering wut u were dreaming...
Everything now is a riddle for me.. There's always a big question mark on every popped-out thought about us..
Will it remain bitter..?
Or it'll gettin better..?
Bitter or better..?
Time will give the answer..
I'll wait.. And try hard to be me, the old me with all feelings that I have for u, feelings that will not change until the end..
Just remember one thing,darling..$
When I say I don't love u, I lied..
And when u say u love me, I hope it's for real..
Bcos I can't kill those feelings.. It's not fair for them..
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Waiting the sun..

2009-09-20T01:35:00.000+07:00

I am sleepy..
Tired
But I dun wanna go to bed.
I prefer sitting on living room and enjoy myself..
Alone..
In silence..

Happy eid everyone..
Do forgive me for all mistakes I've made, consciously (oops..my bad!) or unconsciously (it's human's nature)
And do prepare for the next upcoming mistakes.. He eh LOL

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I feel wrecked

2009-09-19T19:30:00.001+07:00

I dunno why..
I'm sad and down and desperate and devastated and depressed and so on.. U can add another negative feeling, and believe me there's no limit..

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Uncertainty

2009-09-19T01:01:00.001+07:00

Mulai deh.. Klo udh dlm sikon yg kyk gini.. Mulai brisik ni di dalem kpala.. Ada yg bisik2..ada yg triak2.. Akh.. Gaduh.. Pusing...
Jdi mkir gw, apa yg hrs dlakuin yah.. Kok antara mw maju dan diem ja di tempat.. Msh bingung mw mutusin maju atw diem, eh malah mundur gw nya.. Ga sadar pula.. Tahik..
Sbnrnya gw ni dimana koordinatnya.. Klo di cartesius tuh gw di koord mana??? X=0 atw Y=0 ...???!!!!

Pussssssssiiiiingeheeekkkk...!!!!!!

Bete bete bete
Bingung mw ngapain.. Mw tidur tpi blm ngantuk!!!!!
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Friday..

2009-09-18T14:36:00.001+07:00

Mmmh... Smalm bis SOTR brg anak2 komplek..
Trus plg ampe rmh pagi, tidorrrrrr..
Woke up @10 then .. Ngapain yah? Grasak grusuk and grasak grusuk trusss..ngapain lgi yah? Ah.. Well.. Another grasak grusuk.. Trusss.. He eh.. Ga tau ngapain lagi.. Auk ah..

Bingung mw nulis paan lgi..
Udh yak..
Ga meaning jga ni tulisan..

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Demi rambut

2009-09-17T14:07:00.001+07:00

Nyehehehehe..
Demi rambut ku rela berpanas2an
Demi rambut ku rela ngantri sejam lebih..
Demi rambut ku rela ... Apa yah? He eh.. Prasaan tdi pas dipikirin byk bgt.. Pas mw dtulis ko ilang smua??

Damn..

Oh iya.. Demi rambut ku rela jdi tambah cantik dan mempesona... Huehehehe
Babik..

Oh yaa.. Demi rambut ku rela kpalaku sakit gr2 tarikan2 si mbak noni..
He eh.. Itu sih emg prosesnya yawh?

Kbelet pipis ini skrg...

Mgkn bgini yah rutinitas jadi "janda sementara" ...

Uuuuuuuw.... Ku trima ku trima ku trima asal rambutku indaaaah.... Tak apa gak pake bju pas lebaran.. Asalkan rambutku indaaaah... Hahahaha

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Headache..!!!

2009-09-16T17:51:00.001+07:00

Napa ini kpala? Headache mulu bawaannya...!!!!!
Ga ckup apa 2hri headache terus2an??!
Msa skrg kudu headache jga?
Damn dimn dumn..

Lama2 bsa krezi ni gara2 kpala sialan yg ga bsa d ajak koordinasi..

Akh... Konyol bin kinyil.. Mkin krezi mikirin gmn cara ngilangin ni headache..

Frik bgt ih ni kpala gw..!!!!!!!

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So..this is how it feels..

2009-09-16T15:45:00.000+07:00

Jdi bgini yah rasanya...
Hurt..

Haven't been here for so long, and now I'm here..
Wanna go there, not here...

Take me there.. Once again..
And I'll try my best to not go back here again....

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Friday ...

2009-09-12T13:43:00.001+07:00

Senaaaaaang..... Ktemu anggy yg notabene knal dri jaman SMP dri skolah yg beda..
Gmn caranya bs knal?
He eh... Scara sbg anak SMP yg eksis kliaran di PS (najis) ktemu lah ma anggy yg ternyata ngumpul jga ma anak2 brit PS.. Yg lucunya, dlu tuh dy yg paling kecil.. Jadi adeknya anak2... Hehehe .. Eh pas ktemu dy balik dr US, astagaaa.. She is a woman now, not a lil girl anymore...!!!
Aiiiih...lsg deh maen k rmhnya, trus nginep.... Girls nite out...!!!! Trus malas2an ampe jam sgini.... It's amazing how the world could make people change...
Pgnnya nginep ampe minggu, tpi... Boleh ga ya ma my parents?
We'll see later gmn klanjutannya...

It was a wonderful friday.. Well..
Last but not least...

<B> HAPPY SATURDAY </b>

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Raining @midnite

2009-09-11T01:05:00.001+07:00

Waaaah.... Ujaaaan.... Tiba2 feeling so romantic... And... Decided to sleep..

Eh eh.. Kbelet pipissss... Masuk kamar mandi dan ternyata.... Wew... I forgot to flush my toilet... Damnnn.... E'e msh ngambang dsana... Kira2 udh satu jam lah.... Sumpah ngrasa bego binti idiot bnerrr... Nyeeeeeeeh.... Ngapa yah makin lama makin bego... Skippppp mulu....
Hehhehhehe.... Sketika my craving for romance menghilang, tergantikan oleh self-pity.. Mengapa oh mengapa.... Gw hrus lupa ngeflush, pdhl gw yakin bgt tdi gw cebok, pake sabun pulaaa (ahay penting gaseeeee??!)
Dan untungnya sleepy feelingnya ga ilang gara2 liat tokai yg sudah mengembang mengambang di lobang wc.... Pheeeeew....
Mkin ngrasa frik bgt deeeehh...
Apakah gw udah mulai mencapai tingkat krezi yg parah???

He eh.. Like I care.. Bodo.. Udh ah mw tidur... Romantic feeling hw udh sisa 11% ... Mmmh... 89% nya self-pity.. Hohohoho..

Catcha later...
*smooch*

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Tonite

2009-09-11T00:51:00.001+07:00

Luckily mood-swing bein nice on me.. Just feel a bit tired bcos of endless tasks and assigments.. But I got thru nicely.. Pfiuuuh..
And as for tonite.. Mmmh... Feel so sleepy but I'm still hoping to hear a fairytale bfore I fly into unconsciousness...
Wish me a very good luck for tomorrow..
I wanna have a luvly day, and it'll cost so much luck..
Do pray for me, fella..

I really need to shut down my brain for a while...

Enuff for tonite..
Nite2 everyone..
Tha2..

Luv u all .. (Haha.. I lied..!!)

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pure shores

2009-09-09T15:46:00.002+07:00

Ive crossed the deserts for miles
Swam water for time
Searching places to find
A piece of something to call mine (Im comin, Im comin)
A piece of something to call mine (Im comin comin closer to you)

Ran along many moors
Walked through many doors
The place where I wanna be
Is the place I can call mine (Im comin, Im comin)
Is the place I can call mine (Im comin comin closer to you)

Chorus
Im movin, Im comin
Can you hear what I hear?
Its calling you my dear out of reach
(take me to my beach)
I can hear it calling you
Im comin not drowning, swimming closer to you

Never been here before
Im intrigued, Im unsure
Im searching for more
Ive got something thats all mine (got something thats all mine)
Ive got something thats all mine (got something thats all mine)

Take me somewhere I can breathe
Ive got so much to see
This is where I want to be
In a place I can call mine (call mine)
In a place I can call mine (call mine)

Chorus
Im movin, Im comin
Can you hear what I hear?
Its calling you my dear out of reach
(take me to my beach)
I can hear it calling you
Im comin not drowning, swimming closer to you

Movin, comin, can you hear what I hear? (hear it out of reach)
I hear it calling you
Swimming closer to you

Many faces I have seen
Many places I have been
Walked the deserts, swam the shores (coming closer to you)
Many faces I have known
Many ways in which Ive grown
Movin closer on my own (coming closer to you)

Im movin, I feel it
Im comin, not drowning
Im movin, I feel it
Im comin, not drowning

Egoistic time

2009-09-08T23:54:00.001+07:00

I dunno why..
Some parts of me demand me to be egoist..
But I can't..
There r many people that I cared so much..
But I'm overloading my capacity..
I need help
I want someone to understand and rescue me..
Hug, kiss, talking all nite long.. Wutever..
I wanna love myself.. But I can't .. I'm loving someone more than I love myself..
Is it wrong?
I feel myself rotten from inside..
It's killing me....
Damn... It's killing me..
Wut am I supposed to do?

Help me,love..
Only u..

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nyeeeeeehhhhhh ....... romantisssshiiiiitttt 90an

2009-09-08T16:08:00.001+07:00

My conscious decreased

2009-09-06T01:08:00.000+07:00

La la la...

This is my shitty nite...........

Couple drinks and I'm drunk... Uh uh..
Some1 still up tonite..??

Let's have a shitty talk.. Really wanna have a dumb chitchat..

Anyone...???
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Still wanna give a slap

2009-09-04T23:28:00.001+07:00

Pertanyaan :
1. Slap sapa?
2. Knp slap?

Jawaban :
1. Slap my brother's face
2. Knp? Krn klo slap itu brasa lebih perih terus nimbulin bekas yg oke.. Cap tlapak tangan gw.. Klo punch mah biasa.. Haha.. Btw, gw kn cewe.. Mw identikal ahhh... Huehehehehehe...

Udah udah udah..

Ga usah nanya yg macem2...

Males gw jawabnya....

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hayooooo... Lamount...!!!! smangaaaaatttt....!!!!

2009-09-02T12:00:00.002+07:00

ayooo...dunguuu...

smangat smangat smangat...!!

smoga sbelum akhir minggu ketiga udah beres smuanyaaaaa...

hehe,... apaan sihhh???

tau ahhhhh......

mw nulis yg norak2 ja tentang lamount...

kyknya lagi berlimpah ruah nihhhh

Still about huawei,.

2009-09-01T22:56:00.001+07:00

Nih... Klo msh kurang jelas ..
Daku tambahkan lagi gambarnya..
Hohohoho...

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Huawei esia modifikasi

2009-09-01T21:32:00.000+07:00

Nah..nah..
Cba liat ni huawei esia..
Bentuknya mengikuti kontur muka.. Lebih nyaman klo dpake nelpon..

Bntuk mangap kyk mulut buaya, bisa didiriin jga dgn balance yg bagus..

Hehehe....

Tolong ksh feedback bgmn mnurut lo, huawei terbaru ini..
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The slow recovery

2009-08-31T19:27:00.001+07:00

After having its turbulences and blackout, finally my BB starts to recover.. Even tho it's very slow,at least it is getting better..
Hopefully it is gonna be back to its normal functions..
And.......
As for my self..
Not recovering at all..
Believe it or not, I still have rage against him.. I need to do a revenge, a very chic and sophisticated revenge, and of course with high intelectuality..
This wound is too hard to heal and to deep to vanish.. It'll leave a mark until forever..

Help me,God..
Forgive for this one..
I can forgive him, but I can't let go all those things that hurt me..

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Super skinny worm

2009-08-31T17:52:00.001+07:00

Super skinny worm wanna cut herself in two..
Thenshe thinks that it will be less cutem
She wants to die by mutilating her self in a chic and sophisticated way,
How..oh..how..??

Tahiiiiiiiiik.... Stressssss bgt gw..

Apa kbr irma?
Kabar baaaaaa(b)iiiiiiiiiiiikk...!!!!

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brantakan..

2009-08-29T20:56:00.003+07:00

ko potonya brantakan yahhh???

biarlah... pusing jga ngaturnya..
yg pnting ternyata ktemeu poto2 keiko di friendster (ooo maiii... FS???!!)

dan gw ud ga gtu sedih lgi...

in memoriam of keiko

2009-08-29T20:41:00.001+07:00

Damn.. I need a damn sat-nite date...

2009-08-29T18:55:00.001+07:00

Gila akh..gila...
Modem laptop error.. Ga bs onlen dr kpn tauuu, trus skrg malm minggu..
Uuuuuffff...... Stelah hari2 minggu2 yg berat dan tentunya tnpa kencan malm minggu, spertinya gw butuuuuuh bgt kencan malm ini... Or at least.. A social hangout..
Yes, I depressed...!!!!!!
So ffffffckin depressed...!!!!!!

I need a refreshing... And suddenly I feel alone...
Have no friends.. Where r u guys when I need u???
Don't just being here when u needed me... Aaakhhh... Taiik lo smua...
Sebel gw...

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Pink orange ..yayyy...

2009-08-28T21:34:00.000+07:00

At last...
As "pink-orange" has always been my obsession..
I got this fffckin cute pink-orange stripped cardigan (or capuchon? Or hoodie? Or jacket? Ah wutever) ..
I bought it like 3 or 4 days ago (ehm..maybe 2 days ago?? Dunno) and just keep on searching an opportunity to wear it.. Since I've been on a social hangout degradation, so, no reason for me to where it bcos I'm goin nowhere..!!
Tonite... At last!!
Yayyy... Even it's not for a hangout, I'm glad enuff to wear it, even I only stay in the car..
Mmh.. Well, she's not a virgin anymore, cos I already wore it..!
And I'm not gonna lend it to anyone.. Is it clear? No one can ever borrow her..

That's it.. And why I refer my pink-orange stripped cardigan (or capuchon? Or hoodie? Or jacket? Or wutever) as she..?? Bcos... Mmh... Ummm... Errrr...
Bye..

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Sialan oh sialan..

2009-08-28T17:57:00.001+07:00

Nyeheeeee...
Gr2 kcentilan pgn ganti suasana blog, eh eh eh... Yg ada poto, quotes, puisi smua ilaaaaaaaang...
Setaaaaaan...!!!!!
Sialaaaaaan...!!!!!

Ugh... Yg pling menyesakkan.. Ada poto gw ma keiko,pas lg d anyer..
Dan ternyata ga ada backup nyaaa..... Benciiiiiiiiii gw benciiiiiiiiiiiii
Emosiiiiiiiiii
Sediiiiiiiih.....
Mw nangissssssss..... Tu best pose nya keiko bgt :(
Tuuh.... Jd kangeeeeeen....
Klo dlu pas bln puasa gini, dy udh nunggu di pintu ruang tamu, pas azan ikutan buka puasa.. Wlpn makanannya beda..
Qta makan kolak,dy mkn pedigree..
Aduuuuuuuuuh......
Kangen keikoooooooo......
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Quoted from dato' shafik

2009-08-28T00:28:00.001+07:00

"Watch your thoughts, for they become words. Watch your words, for they become actions. Watch your actions, for they become habits. Watch your habits, for they become character. Watch your character, for it becomes your destiny."
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A "before sleeping" notes

2009-08-28T00:16:00.001+07:00

@mom's room @mom's bed

Being patheticly disgusting...
I'm thinking about love.. Errrrr...
Passion, to be exact..
I missed being full of passion..
I need intimacy
I need romance
I need those kinds of ffckin lame things..
not a big problem since I have a boyfriend.. Rite?
But it seems like my bf kinda losin his passion.. Or maybe there're more important things than those ffckin lame things?
Aah.. Dunno..
but I feel bitter..!!!!
Damn...................

Well... Ffck..
Confused.. Should sleep now..

Tha"

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Rutinitas hari ini

2009-08-27T23:40:00.001+07:00

Gak bangun sahur, krn badan demam.. Untung lg tidur ma nyokap, jdi stidaknya ad yg nyadar klo gw demam.. Nyokap yg nyuru gw ga ush bgn sahur, ktnya pagi aja makannya, dy mw bikinin telor 1/2 mateng...
Paginya...??
Sarapan juga engga... Krn ni bdn krasa makin ga enak... Tpi toh wlpn sakit, tetep hrs usaha ga dirasain kn..?
Akhirnya sore2, udh enakan ni bdn trus abis magrib lsg buka laptop ngerjain laporan keuangan...
Tiba2 ngerasa kyk sakit lgi.. Mata ngeblur, pala puyeng, perut mual..
Bru nyadar pas jam 11an malm apa sebab dr smua itu... Gw ternyata seharian blm makan... Maaakkkk... Goblok bgt gw jdi manusia.. Makan aja ampe lupa.. Sgini beratnya yah ampe lupa ma urusan perut?
Well... Tpi bersyukurlah udh ada nasi plus sayur bayam plus sayap ayam goreng tepung yg msuk ke perut gw, and yg lebih asik lagi...
Mama tersayang yg nyuapin... Hehehe...
Rasanya lsg tenaaaaaaang bgt...
Mama mama... Knp sih slalu bsa bkin irma lupa ma smua beban dan masalah yg ada cma dgn brada di deket irma?
Mmmh... Udah ah critanya... Mw tidur, cos I really need a gawddamn gud rest.. Bsk kudu kerja, and skrg udah ga sabar mw tidur lgi di sbelah mama...

Nite2, fella...
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Another insom attack?

2009-08-26T23:27:00.001+07:00

Aaah... Siaullll...
Malem ni jam sgini msh blm ngantuk...
Pdhl 2 minggu blakangan ni, slalu tidur jam 7an trus bgn jam 9 or 10an trus tidur lgi jam 11an ampe pagi menjelang..
Or pas puasa, yah bgn sahur bntar lsg tidur lgi ampe pagi..
Tapiii... Ngapa ni skrg blm ngantuka2 juga???!!!!
Drtd jga blm tidurrrr... Aaaargh..... Fffffffck... Gw pgn bobo... Ndak mau bgadangan...
Nanti kuyus..
Btw just for info, 45 skrg kmbali menjadi obsesi gw.. Krn gw skrg 37.. Omajoooooodh... Macam ikan asin bulu ayam body gw skrg...
Udh bkn lg skinny worm (nickname dr sonjed) tpi udh jadi super skinny worm.. Ugh...

Gmn yah caranya ndud lagi..??
My cute ass started to lose its cute-ness.. Damn damn damn....!!!!!! #
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Bgini figur seorang kakak?

2009-08-26T19:15:00.001+07:00

Tough day today.. So fffffckin hard day..
Di kantor ga beres, puasa batal gara2 nangis plus emosi..
Dtambah lgi dimaki-maki ma kakak..
Heran gw ma kakak gw yg satu itu..
Ada apa2 ngamuk, teriak2, ya apalah kyk kesetanan.. Seolah2 org yg diajak ngomong tu sampah...
Dan sialnya hari ini yg jadi sampah dimuka dy itu gw..
Emang gw tuh siapa??? Gw adeknyaaaa...!!!!!! Hey brother, wake up!!,
Beda umur kita tuh 9 tahun..
Gw cewek lo cowok...
Bsa kn pke cara laen untuk negur atw apa gt?
Toh ksalahan bukan di gw kok.. Knp hrs gw yg di sampah2in...??? Sediiiiiiih kak... Sakit ni hatiiiii....
kecewa...kecewa..kecewa...
Gw udh ngerasa enuff bgt buat hri ini, cukup cukup dan CUKUP...!!!!!

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Fasting month?

2009-08-25T18:49:00.001+07:00

Damned me..
The hardest thing to resist is not to eat or drink.. Or smoking (yea, maybe a bit hard) but....
The hardest thing is not to get tempered and yelled and got mad and cursed... Ow ow.. The last is the most often thing I do..
I cursed and I cursed and I cursed..!!! Cursing with dirty and filthy words..

Oh dear God, please help me...
Teach me how to curse like a lady..
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udah lama..... uhhh...

2009-08-24T17:30:00.002+07:00

skian lama lupa ma nih blog, yg dulunya gw commit as the only one who wont give any judgement on my life...
ternyata terlupakan juga...
yah.. manusia namanya juga...

well anyway........
so much things happenned until i think i started to be normal...
mmh... i'll try to write more often.. not to tell u about my life, just for a reminder to myself in case i have somekind of amnesia of skip syndrome... hehehe...

that's all...

mmh... one thing ...

ga bsa yah blogger dri BB ???
ribet kan jadinya klo hrus buka web nya muluuu.....

ketika semua berubah menjadi tahixxx

2009-06-01T18:20:00.002+07:00

argh..
another nu job, another busy hours.. but still.. the same old fvckin annoying people..
wut's with being commited sih?
is it so hard to hold on a commitment?
so why they have to make one?
why?
it's became so fvkin meaningless, all those times, energy, devotion.. bcos in the end, i mean now, everything that i've done seems so worthless..
trying to make everyone happy, and in return they put me into sucha endless misery..

tahixxx... tahixxx...

nu routine... as an isolator..

2009-03-08T13:04:00.000+07:00

im workin as an isolator..

paan sigh tugh??

jdi kerjaan ku meng-isolate orang yg emang butuh kesendirian dan ketenangan...
kesendirian disini bkn berarti bener2 sendiri, bisa juga dikelilingi orang tapi yg ga dikenal.

cara isolate org macem2..

ada yg dikurung di kamar (normal nya rata2 kbykn org)
ada di genteng or balkon
di perpustakaan
or....... dmn2...!!!!!!!!!

it's a challenging job, and it's fun especially when the person refused to be isolated.
but it's my task, my job and my income source.. so.. i gotta do it without having any pity...

hihihihi...

i am a cold-blooded isolator

weekend

2009-03-07T00:53:00.002+07:00

hehe.. ive always hated weekends.. but u know what? the strange thing now is..
i learned to like weekend.. mmh... to exact is im tryin to be happy on weekend.

u see, lamount came up wit the term "hppy saturday".. every early saturday, he always texting me or saying "hppy saturday, darl".
at first i fet like wanna ppuke all over the floor..
but through time, im gettin used of that words.

hehe.. and now i just cant wait for weekend, just to hear those words.
hehehe... i know it's lame.

but dont worry, everything between us is always two ways.
i learned to like weekends, and he learned to LOVE monday... just like i do...

mmh.... the fact of me loving monday is way more strange and lame than waiting saturday to come, aite???

hehe...

happy saturday, fella

meant to be..???

2009-02-25T04:05:00.000+07:00

me and lamount...

hubungan yang aneh...

we're connected in a weird way..
freakily, terkadang qta punya lompatan pikiran yang sama.
or...
apa yah?
sering bgt tiba2 ngucapin kata yg sama saat lgi bengong. atau lgi ngomongin hal yg ga ada hubungannya ma kata yg kita ucapin.
and so many dumbily stupid things we did..

entah mw nulis apa..
enak aja gitu, di tengah tuntutan lingkungan sosial gw yg mengharuskan gw menjadi apa yg mereka harapkan, trus saat dideket lamount gw bisa bener2 jadi diri gw apa adanya..
being dumb, being ugly, bein idiot, bein loon.. yea... u name it lah... i can be wutever, and he still think im great and fantastic..
hihihi...
sbenernya yg dungu gw atau dia sih?

uh.. insomnia attack

2009-02-24T02:36:00.002+07:00

hihihihihihi
taetaetaetae
huhuhuhuhuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu

ga bisa tidur!!!!
bingung mw ngapain
roko abis, duit ga punya, mw tidur ga bisa, mw ngemil ga ad makanan..
hiahahahaha... sumpah...sial bgt nih...

hppy monday udah lewat, skrg udah selasa, aaargh... mulailah bad luck menghampiri saya...

knp yak, bad luck + kesengsaraan idup pada doyan bgt nyamperin gw?
kbanyakan dosa kah????

stop that daydreaming, shithead...!!!

2009-02-24T01:43:00.004+07:00

wkwkwk...
sapa sih yg ga suka daydreaming.. emg udh sifat dasar gw yg full of imagination, tiap ga ada kerjaan pasti daydreaming.. hahaha.. emg salah yah? engga kan?
cuma eh cuma... lama2 ko jdi agak sulit ngebedainnya yah?
hihi.. emg dasar gw dungu aj... mulai berdelusi...
pas udh nyadar, eh,,,,, needs nya nambah.
aah.. another thing that should written on my list (entah to do list, shopping list, vacation destination list..yea..wutever lah)
jadi bingung kan..
actually, im trying hard to find the real meaning and differences of need and want in a very practical and realistic way.
tapi susah bgt loh...
kadang something that i want berubah jadi (seolah-olah) something that i need, nope, salah, something i really (really!) need.
huehehehe...

my brother used to say "hey, stop daydreaming.. tambah gila ntar..!"

as usual, i never stop, i cant stop...
daydreaming is my inspiration's trigger.. and also conflict's trigger.
but i like bein in such situation...
even now..
when im crashed,...

just smile, and pretending everything is okay, and start another dumb time and daydreaming..

mmhhh...
that's it for now.

tha"

welcome abel.. my baby..

2009-02-10T06:32:00.001+07:00

jdi gini yah rasanya...

ribet bikin susu, ribet bikin promina...
ribet ngediemin klo nangis
ribet nemenin maen
ribet nge-nina boboin

ribet ribet ribet...
but i luv ribetness...
hahaha.....
jadi walaupun capek, ribet, bikin pusing, tetep aja.... ga bs ninggalin abel lama2, jd males pergi lama2, krn bawaannya kangeeeeeeeeen muluuuuu....

luv u, abel... my baby...

where am i standing now?

2009-02-09T18:21:00.003+07:00

udah lama banget ga nulis yah, entah ga ada waktu atau emang ga mood atau apa lah...
setelah sekian lama ini, banyak bgt yang terjadi.. ga bs nyebutin satu persatu juga, tapi yah balance lah antara good things ma bad things nya..

so... to be honest, this started to feel like my 2nd home... tapi this is emang my 2nd home...
i like it (really..!!!) ..

ya udah lah... bingung mo nulis apa lagi..

just wanna let u all know, i am fine, and still alive til now.
(if u'r hoping that im dead, yea..u can ffck urself!!)

tha"

him

2008-10-21T12:36:00.008+07:00

He is...

the one i could spent a whole day with, arguing about something and still wont end up in a fight.

the one who hug me and say 'i luv u' when im bein idiotic even in a moment when i should bein smart.

the one who will never let his pride bein harmed, but yet he dropped all his pride for me.

the one who doesnt know RAMONES, and much more other bands that i luv, and still.. i adore him.

the one who hates horror movies, but yet he stays beside me when i watched it.

the one who i [with all my consciences] declared as my LOVER.

[Lamount.Luchifer]

2008-10-21T12:21:00.000+07:00

menarik.....

aku dan dia...

who would've thought??

gonna write about him..

not now.. maybe later...

but im gonna tell u all about him.

and a bit about us :)

last nite's thoughts

2008-09-20T15:17:00.001+07:00

I'm hypnotized
By the beauty of the morning light
It draws me in and draws me out
And in the breeze I feel the life
Supping gently from my skin
Silence fills my head and everything
The water gently passes by
As I sit here mesmerized
I don't feel the way it drags me down
Across the waves I see a light
Shining golden in my path
Beauty fills my eyes and everything
Calling me
The beach song sings to me
I hear it calling me
Suicide can't bring me down
Your love can't turn around
Suicide can't take me
Suicide can't bring me down

Pleasure..

2008-09-15T12:47:00.003+07:00

hold a cutter wit cold n shaky hand.heart beats faster as d cutter gettin nearer to ur skin.
draw a thin line there.
ur skin is ur canvas.
make ur masterpiece.
take a heavy breath...
can u feel it..??
as d sharpness of it touch n cut ur skin, ur heart beats slower.
breath...
draw another thin line.draw draw n draw!
until u feel enuff.
until ur breath is lightened.
relieved in despair.
see d existence of significant red.
pain.pleasure.
do not reject.
feel it them.wit ur all.wit ur dim soul.wit ur unexisted moment of happiness.
see...??
that's d beauty of pain.
accept n feel...
beautiful pleasure of temporary pain.

my conscience

2008-09-07T00:22:00.000+07:00

Fading sun above the city of dusts
i stare out of the windowas far as my eyes do not betray me
People mistaking happiness for lust
easier for me to follow
somehow my conscience won't let me
swimming in a sea of hipocrisy
dreams vaporizing in skies of lies
hope withers dust to rust
I am what my conscience is
I am what I know is good
I am what I believe in...

--nucky--

as u walk by......

2008-09-07T00:13:00.003+07:00

as you walk bymy heartit perishesto dustto kill theearth's crustfailed to seecause of blindnessas with nointention walks my feettoward the wonders of theworld and die amongthe flowersas the peel likea ravishing diesasecorrupted hearthurting meas blood runscold slippingthrough fingersand running crosshides just behindthe transparentdisguisepiercing eyesinject thefleshas it boilshot androtsthe skullseject the bodiesas silentlywe stareinto the openand find nohopecreatingnothingbut tearingall happinessto treacherousscarpsof heartbreakas then thetentacle oflove iswretched amongall tattered soulsas flames embroiledthe joy you spring she lies embedded in blackroses dead.

--dark princess--

ffffcccck....................

2008-09-07T00:10:00.000+07:00

THE THINGS THAT PEOPLE DO,THE HATRED,THE DESPISE,THE AGONY THAT WE WILL MAKE THEM FEEL. WHY DOES ONE DO OTHERS LIKE THAT?MAYBE IT IS BECAUSE THAT THEY KNOW THE DARK SICK SIDE AS THEY WANT TO CALL IT. THE WAY PEOPLE DO WILL GET IT BACK 3 FOLD. BY THE TIME THEY HAVE READ THIS,THE 3 FOLD HAS ALREADY BEEN DONE. NOT FOR THE MEAK,BUT FOR THE WEIRD,FOR THE LOST,FOR THE SOULS THAT CRY AFTER NIGHT. LET THEM THINK HOW PEOPLE ARE. LET THE SHADOWS SEE THE TRUTH. LET THE BLACK MAGIC COME ALIVE. LET THE BEAST COME FROM UNDER THEIR BEDS AND ATTACK. ATTACK THEIR SOULS AT NIGHT AND SEE THE DEMON OF THE HATRED THAT THEY FELT FOR THE OTHER ONES. LET THE BEAST SHOW THEM HOW IT FEELS TO BE TORTURED BY THEIR OWN NEIGHBOR. LET THE WORLD KNOW TONIGHT. . .LET THEM DIE!

standing in the dimness [again!]

2008-09-06T23:39:00.002+07:00

listening to media distorsi yg confession part 2...
ahayyyy.... makin kelam aja... ga tau knapa.. ko tiba2 pas nyadar lgi duduk di pojokan in my bedroom under meja blajar wit my light turned off....
gelap, di pojok, listening to that fckin depressing song.... oohhh.... ffckkkkk....

knowing the truth, truth that hardly i can accept... yea... one fact... my life now is soooo... messy.. fcked up,... dunno why... dunno how... even i dunno when it started,, u know... i have no clue at all...
help me please...
bein a screwed up alcoholic... fffffffccccck........
cant even spend a nite witout gettin alcoholized.
this is my worst degradation.
im a loner.. but not lonely, i have a loyal companion. beer it is.
hhhahaha.... so lame....
actually, feeling like i hav sum1, but feeling alone at the same time..
like i hav sum1 to rely on. but hav 2 b independent at the same time.
absurd.

demonic lil girl and her demonic stuffs

2008-08-28T21:12:00.002+07:00

today... visit nia @her house.

nia baru dateng dari bandung, and i have a sinful business [hhahha]. jadi aku maen lah ke rmhnya.
dan disana ada her sister, and her sister's daughter [nia's nephew]. her nephew's name is Aurel.
aurel itu lucuuuuuuuuuuuuuu bangeeeeeeeedh... tapiii.... oh my god, she's so evil. judessssh beratttttt..... sumpahh.... nia is as brutal as me, as scary as me... and it's good 2 see her so powerless, and bein abused and exploited by her demonic nephew. hhahaha...

imagine.... cewek yg amat sgt brutal, mnakutkan, sinting, "sakit", doyan brantem, di aniaya oleh seorang anak umur 3 thn.
hhahaha... aurel slaps nia's face sooooo many times... and i knew for sure it hurtss.. ouchh... dan nia hanya bisa bilang "ouch... sakiiiit!" hhahhahahahaha....
dan itu blm cukup... aurel memukul dan melempar nia dengan stik golf... hahahahahahaa..... GOLF STICK !!!!! For ffck's sake!!!! ngahahahahahaaha.......... it must be hurts a lotsssssssss....
and again, nia can only say "ouuuuuucccchhhhhh.... sakiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit..!!!!" hahahahahahaha......

dengan puasnya ak ktawa ampe puaaaaaassss....bangedhhh!!!

trus maen2 lah di prosotan nya si aurel.... sambil masih mencela2.....
dan saya jatuuuuuuuuuhhh...... jatuh kebalik. iyaaaah.... i fell upside down...!!! sakitttttttt...... ya dan sialnya orang2 yg menyaksikan insiden menyeramkan itu [hha..dramatis!], instead of helping me, they laughed!!!!!!!! siallllllllllllllllllllll...............

as the results.... ankle, knee, thigh, back, neck, arm... smuanya sakit...!!! ugh.... im a silly lucky jalank....... hahahahahahahahhahaa

idiot-attack

2008-08-27T00:09:00.001+07:00

being in an "idiot-attack" [kind of syndrom dat makes me so damn idiotic... i mean... damn idiot] really pain d ass. and many embarassing moments happened. yea... stupid.. no.. idiot. so, yesterday, i went up late. jadi, in a rush siap2 untk kerja. dan witout taking a bath. i thought of taking a bath @ d office. so i put my presentation suit [cos i had 2 do a ffckin presentation]. and well, yessh,,.. i look so charming, and classy and elegant and sophisticated [hha... narcist]. luckily, my friend pick me up. so... yes, lucky... sampai kantor, i went straight to meeting room. and............... my dad was already there. and stare @ me like...hmmm.... i dunno... scary stare!!! while in other hands, i walked in wit a perfect high self esteem. and..... after a smile and a "good morning" ... i stood in front of them. and they laughed..... wut????? wut's wrong??? yaaaaah....... i still wearing my huge pighead slipper.... damn........ i didnt wear my high heels, instead i wore my ugly xtremely huge pighead slipper. yups.... n no need 2 tell u more. cos i know u can imagine how that ended up. fffck......

i will.....

2008-08-08T12:42:00.000+07:00

yessssh......

i will...

latest updates

2008-08-06T11:29:00.002+07:00

okay..

here r the latest updates bout my life.

physical state : not healthy at all [back to alcoholicity..damn!]

mental state : not good.. 2 b honest.. more screwed than be4, more loon than be4. not cool!

family life : aha... wish i could say "everything's ok"

social life : back to #1 j.a.l.a.n.k !!! haghag... no days wit soberity! [is it gud??]

work life : not jobless!! ahayyy... back bein a teacher. yea..

love life : love? wut d hell is dat?

overall.........

all i cAn do is SMILE and pretend everything's OK.

and actually, everything's OK, just a bit srewed here n there. but i'll manage. bcos dat's wut i always do. i'll be just fine. cos im always fine. rite??????

2008-07-30T11:29:00.000+07:00

You built my hopes so high,Baby
then you let me down so low
You built my hopes so high then ya let me down... so low
Don'tcha realize sweet baby?
man.. I don't know... which way to go
man.. I can't quit you babe

I think I'm gonna put you down for a while

2008-07-30T11:17:00.002+07:00

Wanna tell you about the boy I love
My..he looks so fine. he's the only one that I been dreamin' of.
Maybe someday he will be all mine. I wanna tell him that I love him so
I thrill with his every touch
I need to tell him he's the only one I really love

I got a man, wanna ball all day
I got a man, he won't be true,
no.. I got a man, stay drunk all the time
I said I got a little man and he won't be true

Everybody's with the one they love I walk the town, Keep a-searchin' all around Lookin' for my street corner boy

I got a man, wanna ball all day
I got a man, he won't be true,
no.. no..
I got a man, stay drunk all the time
I said I got a little man and he won't be true

In the bars, with the women who play guitars
Singin', drinkin' and rememberin' the times
My little lover does a midnight shift. he followed around all the time
I guess there's just one thing a-left for me to do.. Gonna pack my bags and move on my way
Cause I got a worried mind
Sharin' what I thought was mine
Gonna leave him where the guitars play

I got a man, he won't be true,
no.. no..
I got a man, wanna ball all day
I got a man, stay drunk all the time
I got a little man and he won't be true

(Hey hey what can I do)

2008-07-30T11:11:00.002+07:00

Hey fellas, have you heard the news? You know that rock boy is back in town? It won't take long just watch and see how the girls lay their money down. His style is new but the face is the same as it was so long ago, But from his eyes, a different smile like that of one who knows.
Well, it's been ten years and maybe more since I first set eyes on you. The best years of my life gone by, here I am alone and blue. Some people cry and some people die by the wicked ways of love; But I'll just keep on rollin' along with the grace of the Lord above.
People talkin' all around 'bout the way you left me flat, I don't care what the people say, I know where their jive is at. One thing I do have on my mind, if you can clarify please do, It's the way you call me by another girl's name when I try to make love to you. I try to make love but it ain't no use.
Work so hard I couldn't unwind, get some money saved.

Abuse my love a thousand times, however hard I tried.

Heartbreaker, your time has come, can't take your evil way

Go away, Heartbreaker.